When We Think We Know Better

by Annmarie Worthington

I heard something today that got my dander up. It was a comment someone made about another person. I know neither the commenter nor the commentee, I simply overhead them in the grocery store. I was struck by their complete arrogance that they knew what was best for this other mom to do, in a situation I suspect they had very little actual information. So, in today’s post you will get to hear from the snarky, sarcastic Annmarie. (You lucky duck). Then, I will once again step down from my soap box.

We’ve all been guilty of judging the way other families do things.  Some people are offended that they let their children watch PG-13 Harry Potter episodes. Other people think it’s wrong to let your children play outside on the Sabbath. Or maybe we feel they don’t discipline their children correctly. “Well, if my child did that I would….[fill in the blank]” Why do we do that to each other? Is it not possible that God put those children in just the family He wanted them in knowing the personality of the mom and dad?

My family experiences this too. I’ve chosen a different path than many people. Being a single mom who homeschools is no easy feat. However, I am CONVINCED it is the right path for my family. I’ve prayed and fasted about it often.  Anything else doesn’t feel right to me. Does that make life challenging? You betcha! But, my children are worth it. I do, however, get a lot of people who seem to think I’ve made the wrong choice. They don’t say it outright (except for one or two). It’s more subtle hints. Many people seem to think that all my problems would be solved if I put my children in public school.

There is a joke in my house, because of the amount of people that have negatively commented about my decision to keep homeschooling. Anytime something goes wrong, we say, “Well, you know if I put you in public school this wouldn’t have happened.”

Are the biscuits burned? Well, darn it, I should have put you in public school. Is my paycheck late? Guess that wouldn’t have happened if you were in public school. Maybe it is snarky of us to laugh at it, but it sure lightens the load sometimes to have fun.

This post isn’t actually about my homeschooling choice, so if you happen to be one of the people that has said something to me about it, there really are no hard feelings. Besides, I’m sure I’ve judged you too at some point. It’s what we humans seem to do best.

My actual point is, we don’t know what Heavenly Father has told other families. My bishop and I had a quick talk about this once after a comment someone said to me about homeschooling my children. The bishop told me that God wouldn’t even tell him how I was supposed to educate my children. I am the leader of my home and I am who God will tell.

I have to remember that as well when I am tempted to judge another family’s choices. I am as guilty as the next person of inwardly scolding someone’s choices.  We all have strong opinions when it comes to child rearing. It would do us good to remember that most parents truly have their children’s best interest at heart, and know their children better than anyone else. We need to have the benevolence to not feel we always know what is best for others. We need to let God lead them.  If they unintentionally actually make the wrong decision (as we ALL do sometimes), let’s come up beside them and help.

Sometimes families do make poor choices. Even evil ones. What do we do then? Let’s say a family is falling apart because of drug use, or some other equally foolish behavior. We could all gossip about them and talk about what horrible parents they are. Because, you know, that will really help them heal their family. Why is it religious people so often shoot their wounded? Instead, why don’t  we come alongside them and love them.  Let them spend time with you and see the fruit of parenting according to scripture. Not in a preachy, “see how much better my family is” way, but just live your lives around them.

I think if we spent more time loving and serving one another, instead of judging each other’s decisions, we would be a much healthier nation. There would be less burdens weighing people down, and happier families. Where there still are burdens, sometimes because of bad choices and sometimes because life isn’t fair, let’s lift up the hands that hang down. That’s a lot more helpful than wagging our tongues and shaking our heads.

There….I’ve said it and now I am officially off my soapbox.

Dillon’s performance

I will blog more this weekend, but just wanted to quickly share with you guys a video of Dillon’s latest performance. For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, Dillon is my 15 year old son. To see his video, click here.

Blessed beyond measure

Yes, there are times I find life challenging. In fact, most days I am completely overwhelmed. Even today. But, as I was scurrying about it occurred to me how completely blessed I am.

First, I have GREAT kids. No, they’re not perfect and there are things I’m concerned about, but there are things about myself that need improving too. Second, Heavenly Father provided a way for me to work from home and continue raising my children. I have always been committed to being my children’s mother and being there for them. My Father in Heaven has assisted me in doing that even as a single woman.

We are not rich. In fact, we live considerably below the poverty level. But, we are still a thriving family. As an added bonus He put people in our lives that willingly, under no compulsion, and in great sacrifice to themselves assist us. The Nance’s have assisted in my children’s music education since the day my parents said they wouldn’t. You might think it is silly that I think music is so important, but I believe we were created to create beautiful music to our Heavenly Father. It is part mathematics (like He used in creation) and part soul (such as He put in us). 

You’d think that is plenty of service in itself, but when I lost my ride for Dillon (my teenager) to get to early morning seminary and couldn’t find a replacement they volunteered to come get him. Let me put this in perspective for you Utah natives who’ve never experienced early morning seminary.  The students have to be there at 6 am. Yep. AM. Do the Nance’s have a child in seminary and are headed there anyway? Nope. Their children are all in college. They volunteered so I would get a little more sleep with my late night work schedule and so I don’t have to get all four little ones out of bed at 5 every morning.

On top of that, they are my friends. I trust them as much as I am capable of trusting anyone. They listen to me, are willing to have dinner with us at our home (my pathetic attempt at repaying their kindness) as much as possible, and are in general just the kind of people you like being around.

Then I have the Kings in Utah. They lift me up in prayer daily and often send me email that are designed to lift and encourage me. Bill King has hired me to pen the lessons he has learned fly fishing. He’s kept a wonderful journal and sends me entries to put in a book format. I feel honored he’s entrusted the task to me. I recently started outlining some of it. As I didn’t even know what fly fishing was, I suspect they did this to find a way to help us financially while not letting me feel like I was receiving charity. That is double kindness. On top of that they came and spent some time with us some months back. They traveled across the country simply to find a way they could tangibly make my life easier. They walked in, looked around, and said your laundry room needs some shelving. Then Susan King proceeded to do all my laundry (what a gargantuan task that was), while Bill took off to Home Depot and purchased and built and entire shelf and drawer system. It has made my life much easier and my laundry room stays organized. Every day that I go in there to do laundry, I think of them and what a blessing they are in my life.

Sometimes God sends me tender mercies. I’ve always been ashamed of my home. All my furniture is shabby and it is so small that it is nearly impossible to buy pretty things for it. Not just because I can’t afford them, but because  there is no place to put them. Yet, this week God gave me a gorgeous loveseat, that is in pristine condition, free of charge thanks to LeeAnn Stehle. I’ve never had anything so pretty. As soon as I am able to afford a slip cover to match it for my big couch I will have a pretty living room for the first time ever. Kind of exciting!

Then there are myriads of little blessings in my life. Marian Bailey is always willing to come, if she can, when I have a babysitting emergency. Vicki Lorimer has been a steady, faithful friend since they day I’ve met her, and has blessed our lives in countless ways. Alison Jones always encourages me with one of my callings. Susan Adney looks for ways to bless my family.

When I look at all the blessings I’ve received, there is very little room to grow impatient with the stress and burdens of my life. I truly am blessed beyond measure.

The Lord’s Handmaiden

by Annmarie Worthington

 

Sometimes it is easy to idolize certain people from Scripture. It is tempting to forget they were human just like the rest of us. They had fears and faults. Many of them learned to overcome them, and that is what makes them almost super-human to us. One of my favorite ladies from Scripture of all time is Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Have you ever taken the time to think about things from Mary’s perspective? Research shows she was probably quite young when the angel first appeared to her. She may even have been as young as 14. What do you think girls from that time period (and even a few still from this time period) dream about? Getting married. She was already espoused to Joseph.  I’m sure she spent much of her time daydreaming about her future with Joseph. She dreamt of romantic evenings and all the wonderful children she’d be blessed with. Then out of nowhere comes an angel that changed everything.

His pronouncement almost certainly meant loss of her marriage to Joseph. Depending on how severe his reaction was, it could even mean being stoned to death. Did she flinch from her calling? Not at all! At first she was confused. How could this be possible? She’d never known a man. When the angel told her, she accepted his answer even though there was much of it she couldn’t understand. She simply replied,

“….Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.” ~Luke 1:38

End of questioning. Compare that sweet young girl’s response with the high priest that fathered John the Baptist. He had trouble accepting the angel’s pronouncement. So much so that the angel was angry and caused him to be mute for the duration of Elizabeth’s pregnancy.

Not only that, but Mary didn’t even grumble about the possibility of losing her marriage. She would have lost it too, if the angel didn’t intervene and explain things to Joseph. He had already decided to “put her away”.  The serene submission of this woman is something to be treasured and emulated.

We often skip to the next “big” trial of Mary: her labor and delivery. But think about how trying those nine months must have been. Whispers from neighbors and friends. The uncomfortableness and newness of pregnancy that she had to face alone, for at least part of it. There must have been a lot of both emotional pain and physical hardships. All was endured without complaint.

Then it was time for delivery. She may have thought that Heavenly Father would at least want His son delivered in Kingly array. Whatever she expected, I doubt is was a stable after traveling for days from Nazareth to Bethlehem on a donkey. After the birth of her child, she becomes surrounded by shepherds who told her of the angels’ pronouncement to them.  Luke says, “But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” I’m sure she wasn’t sure what to think. But, she was a thoughtful young girl. Her Father in heaven gave her many things to ponder.

When it was time for her to make the offering for her first born son, she heard words that probably sent fear into her heart. Simeon the prophet spoke to her,

“….Behold this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against; (Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,)….” Luke 2:34-35

Again, no word of complaint came from Mary’s lips. There must have been times she thought the Lord was asking too much of her. Just imagine the pain she went through watching her first born son suffer on the cross. A suffering we have no comparison to in our modern society. Crucifixion is such an intensely brutal way to die. Picture your child, or if you don’t have children, a child you care deeply for, going through that. A sword piercing her soul is probably an understatement.

Yet through all that, did Mary get bitter at God? No. She was worshipping with the apostles even before His resurrection. What a woman.

You might be thinking “So what? Mary was great. What does that do for me?”  All I can tell you is what it does for me. Mary is an incredible example of godliness. I’m humbled by her life. Whenever I am tempted to inwardly grumble about my circumstances I think of Mary and her response. All I am left with is the profound feeling that I too am to say to Heavenly Father, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”  I can tell you the first time this verse really hit home to me.

It took me five years to get pregnant with my first child. I can’t adequately explain how desperately I wanted a child, so when I finally got pregnant it was the thrill of my life.  Beginning in my third trimester I began having physical problems. However I was pretty sure the problems would go away after I delivered, assuming they were pregnancy related. Unfortunately, they didn’t. My problems only got worse. I felt awful. I just couldn’t shake the tiredness and other symptoms I was having. I read every verse on slothfulness I could find trying to “jar” myself into feeling more energetic. It didn’t help.

Then, I found a lump in my neck, which led to several procedures. When my firstborn son was just 6 months old I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I was in shock. To make things worse I misunderstood the doctor. When he was explaining life expectancy I thought he said the MOST I would live is 10 years. I looked over at my precious son that I had been praying to have for so long. Was I really doomed not to raise him? My heart was broken.

My husband was out of town, so I drove home alone with my new baby, devastated. After I got him to sleep I sat on my bed and opened my Scriptures. The verse it opened up to was Mary’s response in Luke 1:38. I remember distinctly praying, “God, I don’t feel this way, but I know it is how I should feel. I will say the words. Will you help me mean them?”

There will always be times that we are asked to endure things we don’t want to. We have to remember who we are. We are the handmaids (or bondservants) of the Lord. Let’s show our love to Him by our humble submission.

Know that I am God

“Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” D&C 101:36
”Therefore let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in my hands; be still and know that I am God.” D&C 101:16

I got to teach a lesson on the second coming today. I can’t tell you how much I long for His return. Though, when I was a teenager I wanted him to wait until I got married and had children. I didn’t want to miss out on those experiences. My daughter expressed that same concern when I shared how much I want eternity to start. I got to tell her information I didn’t get in my teen years…the millennium. You see, even if the Savior does return before she has a chance to marry, she’ll get that opportunity in the millennium. Plus, the Savior will be running things, so it will be even better. The look of relief on her face warmed my heart. Now we can long for His return together.

Now if you are one of those people who has a very happy and fulfilling life, that is as close to stress free as one can get on this terrestrial world, so you don’t necessarily long for the Savior’s return,  let me make you happy too. Don’t worry… your life will be even better. Look at the first verse I typed. “….for in this world your joy is not full….” See? You’re not even up to full yet. It will get even better for you.

The rest of us, however, have to struggle through this life. And let me tell you it is a constant, difficult struggle for me. Most days I am in physical pain. I’m not sure why, but it is there. So, I have to muster the gumption to get through that and just function. Then add the unbelievable stress of not knowing if I’ll earn enough this pay period to cover the bills, of trying to further my education on my own (without the benefit of an instructor) in order to increase the possibility of a better income, of raising four children with stresses of their own alone, an ex-husband who seems to look for ways to make my life more painful, a home that is in constant need of upkeep, a ridiculous amount of loneliness, and the normal struggles and trials of life, all while balancing several jobs.  Most days I feel overwhelmed. Some I am in downright despair.

There are bright spots though. I love those tender mercies the Lord gives me. I love teaching my children. It is such a joy and blessing to teach them about the world, to see lightbulbs go off as something clicks, to discuss the universe. I love learning my Scriptures. I knew my Bible pretty well before I converted to Mormonism. Now there are a whole bunch of new scriptures to learn. The glory of it is how it all fits together. The more I learn my scriptures, the more I learn my God. Which is my favorite bright spot. I love having someone I can trust. God never lies to me. He never uses me. Even when He gives me hard things to do, it is to help me grow. That is probably why verse 16 means so much to me.

I am in God’s hands. Not only that, so are the people who are using me, or trying to harm me. I’d certainly rather be in my place then theirs! The lesson I’m trying to master is to “be still and know that He is God.” If I had that down, life wouldn’t be nearly so stressful.  My goal this week is to rest in Him throughout all my responsibilities and let my heart be comforted. I’ve been praying for greater faith for quite some time. Now is the time to test my mettle and see how much I’ve grown.

By the way…..I learned something interesting. Last year I prayed for something desperately, but God said No. I was very disappointed. Then I was watching a BYU devotional and the speaker said to remember to thank heavenly Father for unanswered prayers too.  I begrudgingly obeyed…which wasn’t easy. I thanked Him for saying no and told Him I trusted He had a very good reason. Recently I found out the reason He said “no”. Let me just say I can enthusiastically thank my Heavenly Father for not saying yes now. It truly was a blessing to me! Hopefully I will always remember that lesson and never resent a no again! I’m very glad that He is God and I am not.

Asleep in the Light

 

Something that has been weighing heavily on my heart is sharing the gospel. There is so much in Scripture that those around us don’t have that my heart is breaking. I was re-reading the biography of a tremendously godly Christian who was passionate about finding the truth. Even before He learned about Jesus as the Savior he was searching for truth. He tried everything in that all consuming desire, even some harmful things. But he was honest enough to eliminate them from his life when he found them to be false. Once he found the Savior, he put everything he had into serving Him. He literally poured out his life for his God. Yet often while reading his journey my heart would weep for all that he was missing. I questioned why the Lord never sent LDS missionaries to him during his deep and honest search for the truth. I’ve often wondered that about myself. When I was learning about the gospel in my teen years, why didn’t heavenly Father send missionaries to me? It would have prevented much pain in my life to know all the truth from the beginning. As much as people on TV joke about Mormon missionaries. I had never spoken to one in my life until the night I went over to try and convert the children’s piano teacher. I have to believe that there was a reason God waited for me to know the truth.

I wanted this brother to know the truth too, though he died in the 80s. I did look up on family search to see if his ordinances were done. If they hadn’t, one of you dear brothers was going to get a call asking you to perform them for me. After his wife passes, I will be thrilled to do her ordinances. But, that may not even be necessary. I’m drawing up a letter to share the restored gospel with her. I’m praying she reads it and gives it real prayer and consideration. I’m sure her husband will do all he can from his side of the veil to make sure it gets in her hands.

Which leads to what has been on my heart. There are so many people who do not have the gospel. People we see every day and never talk to. What excuse do we have for such apathy?  The brother, whose biography I mentioned wrote a song about this very topic called Asleep in the Light. Here are the lyrics: (A word of warning. He was a no compromise sort of man and his lyrics are always quite blunt. When you know his heart though, you are not offended).

Do you see, do you see, All the people sinking down?

Don’t you care, don’t you care, Are you gonna let them drown?

How can you be do numb, not to care if they come?

You close your eyes and pretend the job’s done.

 

"Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord", You know it’s all I ever hear,

No one aches, no one hurts. No one even sheds one tear.

But he cries, he weeps, he bleeds. And he cares for your needs.

And you just lay back And keep soaking it in

Oh can’t you see it’s such a sin!

 

’Cause he brings people to you door, and you turn them away as you smile and say

"God bless you, be at peace." And all heaven just weeps.

’Cause Jesus came to you door. You’ve left him out on the streets.

 

Open up, open up, and give yourself away. You see the need, you hear the cries.

So how can you delay? God’s calling and you’re the one, but like Jonah you run.

He’s told you to speak, but you keep holding it in.

Oh can’t you see it’s such a sin!

 

The world is sleeping in the dark.

And the church just won’t fight,  ’cause it’s asleep in the light.

How can you be so dead when you’ve been so well fed?

Jesus rose from the grave- And you, you can’t even get out of bed.

Now I know we often want to share the gospel with those around us, but feel at a loss as to how to do it without being offensive to our neighbors and acquaintances. This has been on my heart a lot, especially with how much our faith has been in the news. This is a good thing, because people are more open to discussing it right now. Let’s use this to our advantage. I was praying through how to share the gospel with my neighbors. To be honest, I don’t even know most of them. Plus, we live in a bad neighborhood so we tend to keep to ourselves. But, I think I have an idea that is useful no matter what neighborhood you live in. We’ve gotten a bunch of Books of Mormon and are wrapping them in ribbon with an invitation to an open house at my home. I’ve got a night blocked out where anyone who is curious about what Mormons believe can come and ask questions. I’ll have refreshments there, and the missionaries have already agreed to be there as well. Even if no one shows up, at least I will have gotten the Book of Mormon in their hands. When they are ready, they will open it up. They’ll have my contact information in it if they ever have any questions. I’m so excited about this! Let’s not continue to watch people drown all around us. Let’s get rid of our apathy. No more hording the light we’ve been blessed with.

The Opportunities Before Us

I had a dream last night that I was back in an evangelical church. Not as a member, but with acquaintances. During the dream I realized just how much of the gospel they were missing and my heart was burdened with the loss. These were good, godly people who loved the Lord. I wanted them to know Him completely. To realize the parts of the gospel they were missing. At the same time I knew, as I was sharing with them, that they weren’t going to receive my testimony. Yet, I felt compelled to give it anyway.

I think sometimes it can be easy to forget how rich we are in Christ. Not just because of the atonement, but because of the restored gospel. I don’t want to go back to a life without the indwelling Spirit to constantly guide and comfort me. I don’t want a life without priesthood  and patriarchal blessings. I love that we have an eternity of learning and growth ahead of us. I love the mercy God shows to those who never had an opportunity to hear the gospel. I love the fellowship I have with my Father now. I had fellowship with Him before my conversion of course, but it is different now. Richer. The closest I can come to explaining it is the difference between black and white 2D and full color 3D.

There is a song that I am planning on singing at church sometime that has a line that goes, “I want to take your word and shine it all around”. That is how I feel. I think Heavenly Father wants us to feel that way. I read a passage today that warmed me with desire. Jesus, speaking to someone He had just healed and who wanted to stay with Him forever, said “….tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.” Mark 5:19.  Think about all the things God has done for us. The love, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness. The fellowship, friendship, and comfort. Where would we be without Him? I am looking for opportunities to share Him so others can have the same joy.

Mormonism is in the spotlight right now because of the upcoming presidential election. I recently had an evangelical acquaintance express frustration on Facebook that Governor Perry said Mormonism wasn’t a cult and that Pat Robertson said Romney was a good Christian man. He felt like these men had compromised their faith by accepting Mormonism. I knew his comment would imply that Mormonism was indeed a cult and  It felt impossible to let his comment go unchecked, so I responded. I was sort of hoping it would open up an opportunity to discuss Mormonism publicly, but so far it hasn’t.

Mitt Romney has opened the doors for us to share our faith. We cannot waste these opportunities. I know it can be frightening sometimes, but remember the words of the Savior. “Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” To me, that is more frightening.  Let’s think about the people around us and open the door to a glorious eternity for them. Let’s really use wisely the opportunities before us.