Would you believe it? In the midst of everything that has been going on, I knocked my shoulder out of place! I've been practically on the couch for a week. The children have been helpful, (well, I have had one complaint about feeling like a servant, but they are human). We've gotten some school done, and I've gotten some work done. But, I feel myself falling behind.
Sometimes the pain is unbearable, but to be honest, it is a lot better than the other two times this has happened to me. My dear sweet home teacher gave me a blessing and specifically said I’d be able to manage the pain. He was right. The last time this happened the pain was excruciating 24/7. Tears poured down my cheeks uncontrollably. It wouldn’t relent. This time the hardest part is having to do everything one handed and be careful not to accidentally use my left shoulder, because that is when the pain comes back. Well, also if I try to do too much.
I’ve had other blessings as well. A chiropractor in my ward has been treating me everyday at no charge. Sometimes he works on me twice in a day. He hasn’t had much luck, and jokingly once said that I was not the most relaxed person he had ever met. I already knew that though. There have been some eternal blessings as well. One that also benefits me temporally is perspective. Life will not feel as challenging when I get my left arm back. It takes me five times longer to do everything right now, so just think about how spry I’ll feel when healed. Another rich blessing is the sweet conversations I have had with my Heavenly Father. I have had more time to sit quietly, especially with the children at their dad’s house this weekend.
Today, I got the wonderful opportunity to sit with one of the women I visit teach. She is a dear widow, who has been in the church her whole life. Her family is moving, so we needed to arrange details about how she’d get to church, her doctor’s office, and when would be the best time for me to take her grocery shopping every week. But the best part of our visit was when we discussed ways the Holy Spirit speaks to her.
For the most part, it is thoughts He puts in her head. She jokingly said she is quite sure she too often takes credit for thoughts that must have been the Spirit. I love her enthusiasm and her faith. She also recounted a story about a time she heard an actual voice. I have only had that happen once, so it pricked my attention, wondering if the experience was similar. She was sitting at her computer doing genealogy for her husband’s family. She knew what state they had come from, but just couldn’t find anyone. In prayer, she asked for guidance. A moment later, while alone, a man’s voice said aloud, “Look in Kentucky.” She was startled, but obeyed. There she hit a gold mine.
My experience was similar. I may have shared the story before, but I’ll do it again here. Before my divorce hearing, I did everything humanly possible to work out personal property. My then husband wanted me to total up the value of all our belongings and pay him half. I did not have enough cash to survive, let alone donate to him. As a counter offer, I suggested he take all the furniture, except the children’s and also allow me to keep their school things. He refused and said cash was all he would accept. That was impossible for me. I was desperate to work things out, because I had heard the judge assigned to our case was jaded and lacked compassion. Everyone said he would order everything on the lawn to be sold and the proceeds divided. That would devastate us, but leave my husband unaffected, as he was in a fully furnished, fully paid for, home that he was to inherit.
The day of the trial came and still things weren’t worked out. My attorney brought up the fact that there was still a personal property issue to work out. The judge, annoyed, ordered everything to the lawn and sold. My heart stopped. We would never recover. As my panic increased. A voice, aloud, both firm and gentle, said, “Be at peace.” I obeyed.
Later in the trial, my attorney asked if we could re-address the issue of personal property. The judge agreed. He said, “Yes, everything will still be sold, but not until the youngest child turns 18.” That gives me 15 years to earn money to replace our personal property!
Don’t you think it is wonderful that God still speaks to us, in ALL the ways he did in the Old and New Testament?! Sometimes to guide, sometimes to comfort. He is mindful of us, even when we feel He is not. Sometimes it takes deepening trials to help us remember that.