The Problem with the Conference Dissenters

 

Even if you didn’t watch General Conference this past weekend, you’ve probably seen the articles about the dissenters. Essentially, they feel like there isn’t enough communication between the Prophet along with other General Authorities and the laity.  They want an open forum to address their doctrinal concerns.  I see a major problem with that.  It’s not what they’re called to do.  A prophet’s job is not to listen to us. His job is to listen to what the Lord says.  Would you really want a prophet who led by the majority opinion of the people? I certainly wouldn’t.

Imagine this scenario toward the end of the 7th century BC….

People: Jeremiah, we need to talk to you.  We’re not happy with some of the things you’re saying.  WE’RE God’s people, the Babylonians should not come to rule over us.

Jeremiah: Well, you know, God’s doing that because you are His people. You refuse to listen, so He’s got to get your attention.

People: About that….We think some of these rules are unnecessary.  Here are some things we think merit further discussion:

1. The Seventh Year Sabbath:  We’d be much more financially and agriculturally productive if we weren’t required to rest the land every seven years.   In fact, that’s why we’ve been ignoring the command.  All the farmers have discussed it and feel we should decide how to run our farms.
2. The Levites: Why should just the Levites get the priesthood? I mean there are plenty of people in the tribe of Naphtali that feel like that’s how they’d like to spend their lives.  Does God love the Levites more? Are you saying other tribes are worth less?
3. Levitical food restrictions: We really feel like we should eat whatever we want.  The other day, some guy from the outlying regions brought bacon.  It was GOOD.  We don’t see the wisdom in restraining from certain foods and feel bacon should be a part of our diet.

Jeremiah:  Hmmm….well if you put it that way.  I’m sure God won’t mind if we change a few things.  After all, a lot of things have changed since Moses was around.

Though the above scenario is ridiculous, that is essentially what the dissenters are wanting. They want a say in doctrine.  But, let’s be honest, any leader who does that will end up leading the church astray.  We shouldn’t desire our leaders to establish doctrine by vote. 

By the way, there was a time that happened. You may remember it. It’s called the apostasy.

I am grateful, for a prophet and apostles who look vertically for guidance, instead of horizontally.

**Side note** There were dissenters in the time of the Old Testament prophets as well. Though, instead of not sustaining, they would imprison or murder them.  Jeremiah went through quite a lot, but was steadfast regardless of what the people did to him or how much his heart was broken by the destruction of Jerusalem.  Let’s pray for our leadership, that they will remain strong and courageous as well.

Surprising Joy

Me with Vicki, one of my biggest joys.

It took me completely by surprise. I was standing at the mirror trying to get ready for the day. By some small miracle half the children were still asleep so there weren’t too many interruptions. I began brushing my hair. It wasn’t cooperating, but that is nothing unusual. I have very temperamental hair. Then I saw it. A small string on the top of my head, mixed in with strands of hair. I kept trying to grab it, but it wouldn’t come. It was like it has little hands that were holding on to something. Then it hit me. That is no string. That is a gray hair. Aaahhh! Now I know I am no spring chicken, but I really wasn’t expecting a gray hair. It was horrifying. Almost as bad as the day I came home to people trying to break into my house…almost. It was more like coming home and finding my house has a crack in it. Bad analogy. That might get me thinking about wrinkles. So what does all this have to do with what I’ve been learning? Trust me there is a point. I’m not a total narcissist.

Lately, as I get ready in the mornings, I’ve kept my computer by me and will listen to a general conference talk. I’ve decided to listen to previous talks from before I was a member. I came across a talk by President Monson entitled Joy in the Journey. I usually prefer talks that teach me theology or challenge me to be better, so my initial reaction was to skip it, but I made a commitment to listen to all of them in order backwards. I’m glad I listened to it. I realized some things about myself during that talk. Without being conscience of it, I have been just surviving without taking time out to enjoy life. Admittedly, my life is challenging. It is constant work, without any discretionary money to do something I love. There is no adult companionship..not even at work as I work alone from home most of the time. Often what I feel is exhausted, discouraged, and frightened.

After the initial shock of becoming single and finding employment that still enabled me to be a mom, I somehow must have thought in the back of my mind that I will only have to do this for a short time. Surely, after all I’ve been through, the Lord will send me some godly man who will adore both me and the children and I’ll live happily ever after serving God, my husband, and my children. Yes, I’d still write, but no more working until 2:30 in the morning. No more complete exhaustion. No more loneliness. I don’t think it ever occurred to me that there wouldn’t be any men out there ready for that kind of responsibility in my age bracket. I’ve had a couple of tempting date offers from two young men who didn’t realize my age, but I had the foresight to tell them no and not let the temptation get too appealing.  I will admit to being a little tempted with one of them.  I mean what harm could one date do with a strapping, handsome young man who thinks I’m funny? But, alas, wisdom prevailed.

It hit me during President Monson’s talk…..What if this wasn’t a season of waiting? What if this is my life? I’m not saying I’ll never marry, because my patriarchal blessing promises that I will. However, it did not promise when, and it gave some qualifications on the male that I don’t see available in my area. Maybe it will be 20 years before that happens. I had to ask myself, will I find joy in my journey if that were the case? Can there be joy with countless hours of work, little financial gain, complete exhaustion, unbelievable stress, and complete loneliness? The answer is yes.

First, I am surrounded by four blessings with beautiful spirits every day. I receive many moments of joy when one of my children says something that makes me laugh, or makes me proud. I receive moments of joy when one of them asks to be cuddled. I’m a cuddler, so I enjoy that. I take great pleasure and joy in my God. I love learning about Him and conversing with Him. He knows me. I mean really knows me. Even with that knowledge he still reminds me in priesthood blessings that He loves and is proud of me. That always amazes me. All I see is someone who needs to grow….a lot. I take great pleasure in studying my Scriptures. And I love to write.  All of these things bring me joy in my journey.  Then sometimes, God gives me special blessings. Maybe someone treats me to a night out, or gives me tickets to the symphony (hallelujah!) that they don’t need. Sometimes it is something as simple as my dear friend Marc coming over, watching a movie with me and talking for hours. Actually we rarely get through a whole movie because we keep pausing it to discuss stuff. I love intelligent conversation.

What I realized was that I needed to stop looking to the future for my joy and see the joy I already had. Life may not get easier any time soon, but I will at least see the blessings that I do have and praise my God for them.

I Am Not Alone—An increase in Faith

by Annmarie

You know, I really shouldn’t blog when I am on pain medication. For some reason the pain medicine makes me emotional and lowers my inhibitions, making me likely to say (or write) anything. You can get all my secrets out of me when I’m on pain meds. However, when I’m emotional, what I want to do most is write….or cuddle someone. The kids are at their dad’s house this weekend, so the only outlet left is writing. Let’s just hope I don’t give up anything too personal.

I teach Relief Society tomorrow. The scheduled lesson is on faith. I’m quite excited about teaching that topic, because it is one I desire to grow in more than any other. Some time back I remember sitting in the chapel on a Sunday morning and confessing to God my lack of faith, pleading with Him to help me know how to develop more of it. Immediately the Spirit said to look up Alma 32. I did and was quite excited to see it was a manual on developing faith. I have grown to love that chapter. 

However, shortly before our recent General Conference, I was still feeling like I was failing in the area of faith. I went to God in prayer again. I told Him I must be His slow, “special” child, and I need more help. I spoke to Him about Alma’s chapter, confessing that I DID have a deep desire to believe and have complete faith, just as the chapter said to. But, I confessed that I felt that although the chapter said that seed would swell and grow, that maybe there was something else necessary that I was missing. The only thing that I felt had swelled was my desire. I still didn’t feel my faith had improved much.

This prayer went on for many, many weeks, and I was beginning to worry I would never improve my faith.  I don’t know if anyone noticed, but many of the talks during October’s conference were on faith. I took copious notes and rejoiced that my God loved me enough to give me more help. I rejoiced again as I noticed other prayers being answered through conference. One in particular really strengthened my testimony that God hears and answers MY prayers.

I was torn about a family decision. I could tell someone in priesthood leadership over me thought I should no longer homeschool my children. I have agonized over that decision often, in much prayer, and always felt like it was the only right decision for my family. My leader never said anything to me personally about his feelings, but I could sense it. I wasn’t 100% positive that was how he felt until a few days ago, when a friend, who was frustrated with me, told me that the leader had said something to their family about it.

Although frustrated with that information, by the time my friend mentioned it to me, I was already at peace about my decision, because God gave me the answer during conference.  You see, previous to conference, I was worried that maybe I wasn’t understanding the Spirit correctly because this priesthood leader felt differently than I did about it.  I’m new in the church, and learning to discern the Spirit is a LONG, often difficult, process. What if I was letting my emotions and desires confuse what the Spirit was saying? However, anytime I prayed about it, it was the only answer I got. Everything else seemed dark and wrong.

I didn’t think I could with a clear conscience do anything other than homeschool. As a matter of fact, I was pretty sure it would destroy my family emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Not to mention the academic step back, including the fact that my poor oldest child had already taken all the math and science classes (save one) the public schools had to offer, and he’d have to spend the next three years just repeating stuff he’d already learned. But, what was I to do with my leader’s opinion. Doesn’t God guide us through our priesthood leadership? So, I went to the Lord in prayer again. I told Him that I wasn’t sure what to do. I want to homeschool my children, and I felt that HE wanted me to homeschool my children, but it felt to me like my leader did not want me to homeschool. What was I to do? How can I guide my family, if the direction I feel I’m given is contrary to what my leader felt?  Was I to make every decision based on what my leadership thought was right, even if I felt very much to the contrary?

Oh how blessed I was to have one of the talks teach us how God gives revelation! He specifically said that though God gives revelation for us to our priesthood leaders, when it comes to areas of family government, He gives the revelation to the head of the family, not the priesthood leader. What peace I felt wash over me when those words came out of the apostle’s mouth. I wasn’t misunderstanding the Spirit. I just didn’t understand the chain of revelation. I did know what was right for my family. It was even more comforting to me that the apostle used the same wording I had in my prayer. I told Heavenly Father I love my children more than anything and needed a specific, clear answer, and He gave me one!

There were many other ways which my dear Father in Heaven spoke to me, answering very pressing questions during conference. It was such a balm to my soul in ways no one would be able to understand. You see, since February of this year I have secretly felt like my soul was being ripped apart. A series of unexpected events, that would periodically rear its head again, would leave me feeling trapped and abandoned. I wasn’t sure if God was hearing my pleas for help. I often worried I had slipped through the cracks, or worse, maybe I wasn’t important to Him. Or maybe He just didn’t like me.  Maybe He felt I failed Him too often and was not worth the trouble. I loved Him very much, and wanted Him to love me too, but I felt like my pleas were going unheard and I didn’t know what to do.

Having Heavenly Father answer so many of my cries and concerns during conference gave me such confidence and peace. He WAS hearing my prayers and worries. He did care enough to help me understand. He answered my prayers. That experience has helped to increase my faith, my trust in Him. I still have so very far to go. But, I’m glad to know He is with me on the journey. I am not alone.