The Problem with the Conference Dissenters

 

Even if you didn’t watch General Conference this past weekend, you’ve probably seen the articles about the dissenters. Essentially, they feel like there isn’t enough communication between the Prophet along with other General Authorities and the laity.  They want an open forum to address their doctrinal concerns.  I see a major problem with that.  It’s not what they’re called to do.  A prophet’s job is not to listen to us. His job is to listen to what the Lord says.  Would you really want a prophet who led by the majority opinion of the people? I certainly wouldn’t.

Imagine this scenario toward the end of the 7th century BC….

People: Jeremiah, we need to talk to you.  We’re not happy with some of the things you’re saying.  WE’RE God’s people, the Babylonians should not come to rule over us.

Jeremiah: Well, you know, God’s doing that because you are His people. You refuse to listen, so He’s got to get your attention.

People: About that….We think some of these rules are unnecessary.  Here are some things we think merit further discussion:

1. The Seventh Year Sabbath:  We’d be much more financially and agriculturally productive if we weren’t required to rest the land every seven years.   In fact, that’s why we’ve been ignoring the command.  All the farmers have discussed it and feel we should decide how to run our farms.
2. The Levites: Why should just the Levites get the priesthood? I mean there are plenty of people in the tribe of Naphtali that feel like that’s how they’d like to spend their lives.  Does God love the Levites more? Are you saying other tribes are worth less?
3. Levitical food restrictions: We really feel like we should eat whatever we want.  The other day, some guy from the outlying regions brought bacon.  It was GOOD.  We don’t see the wisdom in restraining from certain foods and feel bacon should be a part of our diet.

Jeremiah:  Hmmm….well if you put it that way.  I’m sure God won’t mind if we change a few things.  After all, a lot of things have changed since Moses was around.

Though the above scenario is ridiculous, that is essentially what the dissenters are wanting. They want a say in doctrine.  But, let’s be honest, any leader who does that will end up leading the church astray.  We shouldn’t desire our leaders to establish doctrine by vote. 

By the way, there was a time that happened. You may remember it. It’s called the apostasy.

I am grateful, for a prophet and apostles who look vertically for guidance, instead of horizontally.

**Side note** There were dissenters in the time of the Old Testament prophets as well. Though, instead of not sustaining, they would imprison or murder them.  Jeremiah went through quite a lot, but was steadfast regardless of what the people did to him or how much his heart was broken by the destruction of Jerusalem.  Let’s pray for our leadership, that they will remain strong and courageous as well.

Why I Don’t Date Outside the Church

I have great friends. Several of them are intensely interested in my dating life. They’re occasionally giving me a gentle nudge.  OK, some are outright shoving.  I know they’re doing it out of love and concern, and for that I love them deeply.  The two biggest criticisms I get are 1. I don’t put myself out there and 2. My standards are too high. While I realize I am under no obligation to justify my behavior, I wondered if there were other singles going through the same thing. Here are my reasons.

As my beautiful friend Emily once told me, “You’re not going to find someone hiding under a rock.” First of all, I’d never go under a rock.  There are worms there.  I understand her point though. While that is true it is easier to meet someone if you do things like go out in public, I’m just  not in a position to yet. During the day, I homeschool my children. In the evening, I work…yep, from home.  My computer screen and I are tight.  Yes, I realize the church has singles conferences everywhere (except here apparently), but there are reasons why I’m not dashing off to them.

I spent nineteen years serving my (ex) husband and children instead of building up my marketability and resume. I don’t regret that at all, however the end result is I’ve had to  start from scratch earning a living. That takes a lot of time. I’m in survival mode. Singles conferences are expensive and time consuming. I have children to care for and that leaves me little time for traveling.  If I did earn enough to travel, I’d take my lovely children on one of those things called family vacations.  I hear they’re awesome.

Let’s face it, even if I did go, I know me enough to know I wouldn’t get the full value. I’d spend my time terrified, wishing I had my books with me. I won’t flirt. My adorable friend Jen tried to get me to flirt with my nuclear medicine doc because he liked talking to me about what books I was reading. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know how.  While she gave some hilarious suggestions, one including a glow stick under my shirt during scans, it just isn’t me. I think she’s still mad at me for not trying.

The biggest criticism I get, however, is my standards.  A few of my friends are worried that I have impossible standards to meet. One is concerned I’ll never find someone  intelligent enough to make me happy. Several think, because there aren’t many single LDS men my age in this area, who are also righteous, I should look outside the church and convert them.

I don’t think that is wise. Here’s why. First let me say, if you are dating someone outside the church, I am not judging you. This is my personal standard.

The purpose of dating isn’t just to have fun.  I have lots of guy friends, that I don’t consider relationship eligible, that I have fun with all the time. We talk, we do silly things, we watch movies.  See…fun (within my limited time availability). Dating is different. The ultimate purpose of dating is to find an eternal partner. I would never marry someone who is not a member, so why date them? Would you really want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t love the Savior and the gospel as much as you do?

I had a lovely friend suggest I join Mensa and start conversing with some guys with similar interests as me. I was really tempted.  I crave thoughtful conversation. I might even meet someone much smarter and could challenge myself to even things up a bit. I wouldn’t mind that at all.  I’d gone as far as to look up joining on their website, but changed my mind.  Why?  What if I fell in love? I’ll say it again, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t love the Savior and the gospel as much as I do.

I can hear the naysayers now…. “But, you could convert them.”

Possibly, but what if I can’t? Then I’m left with two devastating choices. Break my own heart by ending the relationship or break my own heart by violating my standards and conscience. Not to mention the horrible example such a compromise would be to my children. 

I’d also be afraid that someone would appear to convert just to retain the relationship, but not have a real testimony.  How long do you think he’d be able to hold out faking it once the honeymoon was over and real life set in?

No thank you.

I’m perfectly happy to be friends with non-member men. I always talk about the gospel anyway. If  they convert and I’m interested, fine. If not, we’re best just as friends.

Honestly, I don’t mind waiting.  You don’t have to worry about me pining away at home wishing I had someone.  I promise. The occasional exception being after watching a Jane Austen movie.

In reality, I’m more tired than lonely. I’d rather wait until the Lord sends someone I can respect and trust to lead our home in righteousness than compromise for the temporary pleasures the world has to offer.

Continuing in Christ

You’ve been baptized. You made a commitment to die to yourself and live for Christ. It is an exciting time. Recent conversations with inactive members have convinced me of one thing. A commitment to Christ will not survive if it is only made at baptism. It is easy to be strong in the newness of the gospel. You’re excited. You see all the possibilities of a new life before you. But that light will fade if you don’t cling to it.

Your life in Christ will last only if you make a commitment to die to yourself a thousand times every day. You must continually make that commitment to Christ over and over.

Sometimes it is with big decisions. You must give up an addictive habit or learn to live within the bounds of moral purity. Those are important. But, to be frank, most of the decisions we make that lead to a righteous life are in the little decisions. Being diligent with our time. Spending time in prayer and scripture. Putting others before ourselves, without acting like a martyr for doing so.  These myriad of mini commitments we make are what keep us in the atonement of Christ.

Sometimes it is in making a commitment to just hang on in suffering. When your pain is beyond the aid of words or music, to cling to Christ. To say “I believe You. I will not forsake you, though I feel forsaken.”

Those decisions will change your life. Those will help you to grow to be more like the Savior. These will keep you on the path to salvation.

The Church Cannot Raise Your Children

It doesn’t matter whether you’re protestant, catholic, or LDS. It is up to you to raise and instruct your children. Yes, the church is fantastic and has lots of opportunities for learning the gospel.  In the LDS church we have primary, Sunday School, the Young Men and Young Women programs, and high school seminary. They are all good things. It’s important your child goes, but at best they are basic. Even the seminary program, which I highly recommend, is just four years of survey courses. Our children need more.

The general authorities (leadership in the LDS church) know this too. They’ve counseled parents on multiple occasions to have daily scripture study, prayer, and fun time together as important aspects of child rearing.

If you’ve ever taught primary you know the lessons can be….um…repetitive. I believe I taught a lesson on “Choose the Right” more times than I can count. That repetition is good and there probably isn’t an LDS child around that couldn’t tell you how important it is to make right choices. However, our children need doctrine too. They need to go through the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price (Whew! We have a lot of Scriptures) thoroughly before they leave your home.

Why?

I think the answer to that is twofold. 

1. That our children may know who god is and what he expects of them

The Book of Mormon puts it this way: 

“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” 2 Nephi 25:26

2. that they may grow in godliness

I love this passage in the New Testament:

“And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2

So where do you start?

First, in your everyday life.

You must live the gospel yourself. You must also talk about it.  Listen to what Moses taught the Israelites as they were about to enter the promised land.

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Duet. 6: 6.

It should just be a natural part of living- a regular and comfortable part of your daily conversations. Our children need us to engage with them about real life and how it fits in with the gospel.  Discuss current events with your children. Discuss politics. Help them learn to think for themselves and not just accept what the talking heads on television are telling them. Challenge them to look at the world in light of what we know about God’s instructions to us.

Make sure they understand that everyone is biased—yes even your favorite news anchor.  I’ve got news for you, you’re biased as well. When you can face that, it will help you be more honest with your children about exploring world views. Help them to take what they’re hearing and compare it with the word of God. Teach them to pray and ask the Spirit what is true and what they should do about it.

Second, in formal instruction.

This is where daily scripture study comes in.

For young children, teach them the stories of the Scriptures. They should know about Abraham, Moses, Christ, Paul’s life and Martyrdom, Nephi, King Benjamin, etc…

LDS parents need to be careful not to just focus on the Book of Mormon. Your future missionary is a lot less effective in ministering to protestants when they have a remedial understanding of the Old and New Testament. Believe me, as a former protestant who was an investigator for three years, I was often appalled at the lack of knowledge some missionaries had. It made me less likely to take them seriously.  Plus, they are missing out on a large portion of God’s instruction to us.

For older children, take the time to do an additional more in depth study. Our classes at church do not (to my complete exasperation at times). Do a weekly study with them on a book of scripture. Give them assignments that teach them how to study the words of God for themselves.

I know you’re probably thinking when you’re going to find the time to fit all this in. Believe me, if I can do it ANYONE can.

Most parents love their children. Most want to do what is the best for their children. Just don’t be tempted to think just sending them to church is enough. It’s good, but it’s not enough.

For Those That Are Discouraged

Sometimes you can do everything right and things can still go wrong.  When that happens, it is easy to get discouraged. I was feeling that way last week. I was undergoing difficult medical treatments.  Then, what was supposed to be three days of isolation (because of some radioactive treatments), turned into a week. Then they added painful injections. Then, in the midst of my isolation I received a letter from someone that brought up horrible memories. Then, I got super sick. Then a tree fell on my house. Seriously—a tree. My landlord has pictures. Can you believe that week?

You can see where I might get discouraged. That is until I came across a passage in the book of Ether.

The Jaredites were about to go on a trip—a long trip.  They had made all the preparations. (see Ether 6:4) They did everything right. They even “commended themselves unto the Lord.” Then the storm came.

“And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.” Ether 6:6

They knew the Lord brought the storm, but it doesn’t make weathering it any easier.  Storms are frightening. Storms can be painful. But, here is the helpful part. Storms have purpose.

“And it came to pass that the  wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.” Ether 6:8

When I read those words, the Spirit brought me instantaneous comfort. I was reminded that the Lord has purpose and direction for the things He’s bringing into my path.  Each storm He brings my way is designed to bring me closer to the goal.

You may be wondering what’s the goal? For me, it is conformity to Christ. I want to be like my Savior.

“And we know that all thing work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to HIs purpose. For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son…” Romans 8:28-29

That is the beauty of commending yourself into the hand of the Lord. Peace. At that moment, in the midst of the turmoil swirling around me, the Lord reminded me I was not forgotten. He had my back. I felt like I could do anything.

I’m grateful for a Savior who is patient with me when I grow frightened and weary. But, more than that, I’m grateful for a God who is bigger than storms.

Why I’m Not “Repentant”

There is a large group of people waiting for me to renounce Mormonism.  They pray for my repentance. They occasionally mention my need for it.  I’m sure they wonder what is taking me so long.  They think of me and shake their heads. Today I’d like to explain why I’ve not “repented”.

I have found Christ.  While I did love and worship Him before, it’s deeper now because I understand Him more.  It’s like when you first meet someone and have an instant bond with. You like them. After a time, however, as you really get to know them, it’s different. You know THEM and it makes you love them even more. 

That is how I feel about my faith. I know Christ and my Heavenly Father more than I ever have. When I was a reformed protestant, I loved my Savior. I truly did. Yet, if I’m being honest, I felt something was missing. I’d read my scriptures, which I loved and felt somehow I was missing something. The only thing I can liken it to is reading a literary passage where I know there is a deeper meaning I should be grasping. I can kind of see it, but it’s blurry and just out of reach. 

Other times, the problem was more obvious. I had the distinct feeling that we, like the Pharisees during the life of the Savior, were missing the point. There were also aspects of Scripture we seemed to be ignoring.

In all my life, I’ve never felt closer to my God. I finally know what that passage means when it says “My sheep hear my voice.” I know what it means to be led by the Spirit of God. I know my God and He knows me. I know what it means to have the Savior call you friend. I know what it means to have Him beside me. Really beside me.

Here are the things Mormonism has added to my life:

• A much deeper knowledge of the Godhead and communion with them.
• Real peace that comes from knowing I am in His will.
• The constant companionship of the Holy Spirit, including His whispered guidance.
• Priesthood ordinances that do things I couldn’t even begin to delineate here.
• The FULLNESS of the gospel.  I no longer have to read my scriptures and wonder why something is not a part of gospel living anymore, because it is a part of it. After all, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Why would I give that up?

So, that is why I am not willing to “repent”. Can those of you who think I am going to hell still pray for me? Of course! But, while you do, take a moment to sincerely pray and ask your Father in Heaven if maybe you’re  not missing the point.

The Habits of Wisdom

I had a mild breakdown tonight. So much stress. So much to do. So much I want to accomplish, and so little time. So, I went to my knees and cried out to my Father in Heaven. I asked Him to help me, to give me wisdom for what I have to accomplish. I asked to be aware of the things He wanted me to do and to make them a priority.

The information that followed was not new, but it was a good reminder.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

The key, for me, is to remember to put first things first. Instead of stressing over everything that has to be done and rushing from responsibility to responsibility in a frenzy, I need to slow down. That doesn’t mean drop any responsibilities. Instead, it means to put my Savior first. But not only that, but to do each responsibility peacefully--remembering it is my Savior I am serving, no matter how mundane a task may seem. I can take the time to do them with beauty.

I’m writing this to remind myself and keep myself accountable.  I love my Savior and I love my family. I want to serve both of them to the best of my ability.