The Sweet Memory of Past Sin

That title probably sounds weird…even wrong.  No memory of sin should be sweet.  Of course not, but bear with me.  Many of you know I am a homeschool mom.  My oldest daughter will be reading St. Augustine’s Confessions this fall.  I’ve been re-reading it in order to write a discussion guide for us to use.  I came across this passage:

“I must now carry my thoughts back to the abominable things I did in those days….the memory is bitter, but it will help me to savour your sweetness, the sweetness that does not deceive but brings real joy and never fails.”  ~ st. augustine

That completely changed my view of the past.  While before it brought me low and I used it as a warning never to allow myself to be deceived again. It’s different now. Sweeter.  It’s still a good reminder to beware, but now it also draws me into praise. 

My Savior gave himself as a sacrifice, so that I could be at peace before my God.  Now, instead of being weighed down with guilt, I smell the sweet aroma of the sacrificial atonement.  No wonder the Old Testament sacrifices were such a pleasing aroma to God.  They brought to His mind the willing love and sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Now, if something reminds me of the past, I think of the Savior’s gift and look toward the future, where I will dwell with my God. When I do that, my heart swells with love and praise for him.  That is definitely sweet.

 

Continuing in Christ

You’ve been baptized. You made a commitment to die to yourself and live for Christ. It is an exciting time. Recent conversations with inactive members have convinced me of one thing. A commitment to Christ will not survive if it is only made at baptism. It is easy to be strong in the newness of the gospel. You’re excited. You see all the possibilities of a new life before you. But that light will fade if you don’t cling to it.

Your life in Christ will last only if you make a commitment to die to yourself a thousand times every day. You must continually make that commitment to Christ over and over.

Sometimes it is with big decisions. You must give up an addictive habit or learn to live within the bounds of moral purity. Those are important. But, to be frank, most of the decisions we make that lead to a righteous life are in the little decisions. Being diligent with our time. Spending time in prayer and scripture. Putting others before ourselves, without acting like a martyr for doing so.  These myriad of mini commitments we make are what keep us in the atonement of Christ.

Sometimes it is in making a commitment to just hang on in suffering. When your pain is beyond the aid of words or music, to cling to Christ. To say “I believe You. I will not forsake you, though I feel forsaken.”

Those decisions will change your life. Those will help you to grow to be more like the Savior. These will keep you on the path to salvation.

Why A Manger?

Hello everyone! I’ve had such a busy week. I’ve done more revisions on my novel and have officially drafted my query letter to begin sending to agents. I’ve also finished the first week of my Mosiah inductive study to send to those who’ve agreed to be in  my test group. We’ve got a good sized group so I’m excited to start getting feedback. If all goes well, I’ll have the Mosiah study completed and ready to send to anyone who wants to know their scriptures more in depth in just a few months. Plus, this morning I got to teach the last chapter in the George Albert Smith lesson book, Righteous Living in Perilous Times. What an instructive chapter.

Now onto today’s topic…..

You may not know this about me, but I love collecting both nutcrackers and nativity sets. I don’t have many, but I do love them. You may send donations to….  just kidding. 

I’ve been thinking about the nativity a lot lately. For years I thought about the injustice of the King of Kings having to be born in a stable. Imagine, a filthy manger filled with animals. Couldn’t the innkeeper have at least asked anyone if they’d be willing to give up or share their room for the woman in labor? Could not the Spirit have prompted some righteous soul to help them? Instead, he was born in the most humble of circumstances. Our humble Savior. I love Him so much.

It occurred to me last week, and I don’t know why it never had previously, that Heavenly Father arranged those circumstances intentionally. I mean, He is in charge of the universe. He could have arranged affairs to be more in Mary’s favor. Why didn’t He? Here is what I think. God loves symbolism. The temples, both ancient and modern are rife with it, as are both the ancient and modern Scriptures. So why should we not find symbolism in his birthplace?

1 Corinthians 5:7 calls the Savior our Passover. What does that mean?  In our Old Testaments we have the story of the Israelite Passover. Pharoah’s heart continued to harden and he refused to let the Israelites leave. Moses warned him that if he didn’t change his mind that God would destroy the firstborn son in every household. God is holy and compassionate and does not punish indiscriminately.  He provided a means of safety for all who feared Him. Any family that did not want to be touched by the destroying angel was to slay an unblemished male lamb and spread the blood on the doorposts of their home. When the destroying angel saw the blood he would pass over that home and the firstborn would be safe.  Many children died that night, but not in the Israelite homes. They obeyed their God and were spared.

Now, if Christ is our Passover lamb, does it not make sense that He, too, should be born in a stable. The angel told the shepherds their Savior was born that night. I think he was preparing their hearts for the fact that He would not come as a conqueror to banish the Romans, as many of the Jews hoped, but instead as a humble servant and sacrifice for our sins. So that, if we repent and put our faith and trust in Him we too shall be spared by the blood of the unblemished lamb Jesus Christ. Doctrine & Covenants puts this better than any passage I have ever found thus far. When we are standing before our God and the vileness of our sin is exposed, the Passover Lamb steps forth.

“Listen to Him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before Him—Saying: Father, behold the suffering and death of Him who did no sin, in whom Thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of Thy Son which was shed, the blood of Him whom Thou gavest that Thyself might be glorified; Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto Me and have everlasting life.” D & C 45:3-5.

Do you hear the pleading of the Savior on your behalf?  Do you see the gush of His blood that was spilt for your sins? I will never look at a manger the same again.

Getting to Teach

Wow! I’ve got so much that has happened this week I don’t even know where to start. So, I’m just going to list out a few things.

Item One:

First, I do NOT have liver cancer. It was such a complete relief to eliminate the worst case scenario first. We don’t know what is wrong with me, but we’ll find out. I so grateful that I do not have to go through cancer treatments again. Though I had a blessing that promised I would survive, I was worried about going through that as a single mom. I still remember how hard it was when I was married and had cancer. At that time I only had one child. Now I’d be alone, no help, and 4 children. Thankfully that wasn’t my lot. My doctor is setting up an appointment with a specialist, so we’re looking at other possibilities. I’m not worried in the least. I feel really confident about things.

Item Two:

We start our school year tomorrow. I’m so excited. You would think someone whose schedule is so challenging would be dreading the start of our school year, but on the contrary I’m thrilled. I get so much joy out of teaching my children. I’m looking forward to this year’s subjects as well. I’ve decided for the children to do creative writing three days a week and essay writing the other two. By the end of the year my two oldest children will have written a short adventure novel. Not only that, but Dillon starts rhetoric and Rachel starts logic. It opens up a new world for them. Plus, Dillon gets to take Physics and Calculus. We’re finally getting to some challenging work. I’ve been looking forward to this since Dillon was in Kindergarten.

Item Three:

I’ve begun having some gospel discussions with my youngest. Although, he overhears the discussions with the other children, for the most part they are completely over his head. Now he’s old enough to begin teaching. How it began is actually kind of funny. I was telling Dillon about the horrific terrorism that took place in Oslo this weekend. When I told him about the youth camp I didn’t realize Neil had been listening. He walked up to me and asked how many lives they had left. At first I was confused, but then I realized the only exposure he has had to “death” is playing games on the wii. First, I had to explain to him that in real life you only get one life on earth, but that we get to live with Heavenly father forever after we die. He didn’t understand why we only get one life, but asked really good questions. It was fun trying to come up with ways to put the answers on his level.

Item Four:

Technically this is part of three. I’ve been trying to come up with ways to help my children understand why we live out our covenants if the Savior has already paid for our atonement. They weren’t violating their covenants in any way, nor do they have a desire to. I just wanted to make sure they understood the vast importance of our earthly existence. Someone emailed me a BYU devotional that covered the topic perfectly. It is called His Grace is Sufficient by Brad Wilcox. You can download it for free on the link I’ve provided if you’re interested. I really recommend reading it. Then this morning in Relief Society my friend Deanna was teaching. She read a quote that I want to teach my children. “We live to die and die to live,” I can’t wait to discuss it with them. First we’re going to watch a video of a general conference talk by President Packer that I think is perfect for pioneer day. It is called The Test.

Well there are so many more things to write about, but they will have to wait until I have more time. Enjoy your pioneer day!

Dual Post: True Love and A Look at Sin

At my daughter’s violin teacher’s home there is a portrait of Mary, the mother of Jesus, at the crucifixion. You don’t see the crosses, only the pained face of His mother, watching her son being tortured. Looking into her eyes you see the fulfillment of Simeon’s prophecy that a sword will pierce her very soul. I’ve often wished to obtain a copy of that picture as a reminder to me of the Sacrifice given on my behalf.

No matter what kind of life you lead. If you are single, married and unloved, or even have never been loved by even your parents, you can know that there is one person that when He says He loves you, He means it. Think about all He sacrificed, willingly on our behalf. Picture his great drops of blood when he took on Himself our sin and infirmities.

Even today, when we continue to sin, he pleads on our behalf. I love this passage in Doctrine & Covenants:

“Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before Him----

Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of Him who did no sin, in whom Thou wast well pleased:  behold the blood of Thy Son which was shed, the blood of Him whom Thou gavest that Thyself might be glorified;

Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on My name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.”

That is true love. Love which willingly gives His all. Such love deserves true devotion in return. Such love has the right to ask us to do anything, no matter how difficult. There are times when I am frustrated with life and I have to remind myself of the Savior’s love and remember that He isn’t asking me to do anything that doesn’t pain Himself equally.

I had told a friend from church in frustration the other day, “You know, my life wasn’t easy before I joined the church, but it has been much harder since.” I don’t blame the church of course. I knew the life I was signing up for when I made my decision. It doesn’t however make it any easier.

Therefore, when I am struggling or having a wretched, exhausting day, I remind myself of my beautiful Savior. He’s not asking me to do anything needlessly. He loves me. I love Him too, therefore I should willingly, even gratefully do whatever He requires.

I said this was a dual post because I’ve been having two disparate thoughts this week and I couldn’t think of a good segue…so I’m cheating.

I’m re-reading one of my favorite novels Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. My son’s about to read it for school, so I needed to do a touch up on it. There is a passage in the beginning that is describing a godly bishop. It says,

“He was never quick to condemn and he always took into account the surrounding circumstances. He would say, ‘Let’s see how this sin came to pass.’”

I think there are two applications to  this. The first is the one intended. Few people wake up and go, “I think I shall sin today.” There are generally circumstances that creep in and gradually, sometimes before they know it, they are sinning. Sometimes emotions and history factor into the situation. The point is, we can’t really know what someone is going through, or what led them into the sin they’re committing. Because of that, we shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Let’s try to understand and love the person. Then we can help them with their sin.

There is a second application to this as well. A personal one. When we sin, we need to say to ourselves, “Let’s see how this sin came about”. Sin is inevitable. We are fallen people. If you’re like me, you want desperately not to, but know you will fail. I fail all the time. My heart breaks when I do. Sometimes though, I can learn from my failures. I can say to myself, “How did this come about?” Maybe I can see a pattern that I can avoid. A way to keep myself from falling into the same trap. It is a good habit to get into.

Hopefully in the future I can give myself more wisely to the one who truly loves me.

 

An Anchor to the Soul

I left church after Sacrament meeting today, which is something I never do.  I wasn’t feeling well. So I drove home, took some medicine, and tried to get some rest, but of course, I couldn’t sleep. You would think someone who lives on about 3-4 hours of sleep a night would conk right out, but my mind wouldn’t shut off.

Plan B was to read my Scriptures in silence. A rarity at this hopping house. I read something magnificent. For my Book of Mormon reading I am in Ether 12. It is so packed that this is day three on the same chapter. I just keep finding more gems. Right now I am compiling a three column list on everything Ether has to say about faith, hope, and charity in just this one chapter.

The verse I want to focus on right now is verse four:

“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.”

If you’ve ever felt thrashed about by the storms of life, this verse should make you breathe a sigh of relief. For those of you who don’t know, I grew up on Staten Island. I sure miss that place sometimes. When I was a child riding the Staten Island Ferry, I would often go to one of the port holes and look into the churning sea. Although I loved the feel of the air and water as it sprayed up at me, the voyage itself frightened me, so I would sit and watch hoping nothing would go wrong with our voyage.

I was always fascinated by the gigantic chains that would place and withdraw the anchors and wonder how they could help keep such a massive boat in place. I still don’t know the technicalities of all of it, but somehow it worked. Our boat was sure and steadfast.

According to the Scriptures, faith is our anchor. This anchor, however, does way more than the ones on the ferries I grew up with. First, it gives us a hopeful, secure future. Ether called it a better world. It is better because we are at the right hand of God.  At first that phrase puzzled me.  At the right hand of God? No, that is the Savior’s rightful place-definitely not mine. Maybe it was my tiredness, but I couldn’t figure out why he would say that. The answer of course was obvious, but it didn’t occur to me.

I leaned over and asked dear Bishop Nance (he was bishop before our current one), whom I was sitting beside. Thankfully he didn’t call me an idiot for not remembering “the sheep and the goats”. When the author says we will be at the right hand of God, it is because that is where the sheep go. We go with the group destined for eternal life in the presence of God. That will most assuredly be a better world. In that world there will be joy, peace, godliness, honesty, truth, learning, safety, and righteous judgment, just to name a few things.

Why use an anchor analogy for that though? I know some who would say we cannot be sure of our eternal place. I disagree. Faith makes that eternity sure. We can not only hope, but be sure in our hope of it. Not because of our own merits, which I know frightens all of us and makes us worry about eternity. But, on the merits of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I can be sure of my eternity IF my faith is in the right place. Do I have correct faith in the person and work of the Savior? Is it the kind of faith the Scriptures teach us? A repentant faith unto good works? Then if so, I can be sure of eternity. Now that is better than any anchor I have ever seen on a ferry.

This anchor does more though. Heavenly Father doesn’t throw us into a tempest filled sea, leaving us to drown and suffer, merely saying, “Well at least you have eternity to look forward to.” No. Instead He says, “Use your anchor.” That anchor of faith makes us sure and steadfast. That anchor of faith allows us to abound in good works. That anchor leads us to glorify God. I can’t think of anything better.

When I am drowning in a sea of turmoil. And believe me I know what turmoil feels like. I can grab onto my faith. That frees me up to do the work God has set apart for me. I am excited about that! I can think of a dozen ways I have disappointed my Father in the last 6 months, knowing that if I had just grabbed my anchor, I could have avoided the mistakes all together. I can’t change the past, but I sure can remember to grab it in the future.

It can also keep me steadfast in the face of other’s sins. There are frightening people in this world, who do very bad things and are obvious about it. There are others who are more cunning and unexpectedly do bad things. I’m not sure which is more dangerous. It probably doesn’t matter, because both kinds leave wounds and damage our vessel. But this verse says we can be sure and steadfast even in the face of damage. It will not matter what kind of storm we are confronted with. Faith will lead us to glorifying God. We can do great works, even in the face of suffering. What an anchor that is!

One other thing just occurred to me. It says this anchor can lead us to glorify God. I periodically get emails or phone calls from people who say wonderful things to me. Things I don’t deserve. Sometimes they say they admire me. Most often lately they say they have a strong feeling Heavenly Father has an important work for me. Now, I am not an important person and I am sure every assignment Heavenly Father gives, even to the least of His children is important to Him. It did get me to thinking though. I know He has a work for me. We were all given assignments in the pre-mortal existence of how we could further the kingdom during our tenure here. What was mine?

While I do not think I can do anything more important than any other servant, I have been facing tremendous trials that were obviously designed by the enemy to keep me from service. I began to pray and ask Heavenly Father to show me my work. What is my mission? He gently reminded me that He had already told me. He puts desires in our hearts and minds that are designed to help us know and fulfill our mission. What I want more than anything else is to start a magazine AND write books designed to help Latter Day Saints not only become more valiant in their testimony of the Savior, but to give them the tools to minister and teach the gospel to protestant evangelicals.

All I have to do is hold on to the anchor, so I am equipped for every good work and not allow the storms I face to overtake me.