Saturday, July 17, 2010

In God We Trust

First off I need to tell you I am a hopeless romantic....and not just about romance. I'm romantic about life and friendships. So, what usually happens to hopeless romantics? Yup, they get squashed like little bugs. But, because they are romantics they peel themselves off the pavement, brush off the debris, and jump right in expecting great things to happen. Now there are a few things that can happen to our little bug. First, she can keep getting squashed over and over and over again, or she can become cynical and stop trusting in people completely, or she can learn a better place to put her trust than in people.
There are many wonderful passages in Jeremiah. One I've been thinking about a lot lately is Jeremiah 17: 5,7

"Cursed be the man that trusteth in man........

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord"

First let me say there are many wonderful people in the world. I know some of them. I could tell you about a family who gives up a large sum of money every month so that my children could continue their music lessons after my husband left me and my parents decided to no longer help me. They knew my son wanted to be a concert pianist, they knew he was gifted, and they knew there was no way I could continue their lessons. I don't know if they knew how important music education was to me. I don't consider it a nice option. I truly and deeply feel it is an important, necessary part of a child's brain development. I doubt they knew how I was in agony trying to figure out how in the world to continue the lessons. I was close to offering to be the teachers house keeper, but was worried that wouldn't work because he already had one. Whatever they knew, they stepped in and made a great sacrifice. They're not wealthy people, and there are many other things they could have done with that money. I DO believe there are great people in the world.

Life has also shown me that there are people whom you can love, admire, and trust with all your heart, who will hurt you, use you, even abuse you if possible. People who say one thing and do another. People who manipulate you for their gain. I've known parents who knowingly allow their children to be abused, or even do the abusing themselves. I have so little tolerance for people who hurt children, or who stand by without intervention and allow them to be hurt.

So, how do we respond to things like that? How do we keep from staying in a self preservation mode where we withdraw into ourselves all the time? I think it is by always remembering that there is really only one person you can trust....the Lord. He is the only one who will never use you, never harm you. When people do rotten things it is easy to become bitter. It is also easy to want to treat them as they deserve. I propose that instead we use the hurt to worship and grow closer with our Heavenly Father. Doesn't it make you appreciate Him so much more. Knowing He will not use you. He'll be there for you.

You know, as I type this there is that little nagging voice inside of me that is telling me I'm not being completely honest. I won't be able to post it if I feel there is dishonesty in it. So I will be. Although maybe you'll think I'm a hypocrite because I have so far to grow. The truth is, I'm always afraid that God will abandon me. And there have been times I wish He would have protected me better. Times I've begged Him to that He didn't. But, I have a STRONG testimony that our Scriptures are true. They tell me He has good reasons for everything He allows into our lives and I believe it. I'm scared, but I believe it. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you. Even though I'm still growing in my faith and trust, I know He is really the only one we can trust. If I focus on that, and growing my relationship with Him. It keeps me from becoming completely cynical. It helps the little bug in me dust itself off one more time and try again. Maybe this time they'll be a happy ending....... Don't you just love happy endings?


wordandcraft said...

I think when we are convinced Heavenly Father didn't protect as we had hoped, we just don't see how much He really did protect us and how much worse things could have been. I'm sure we'll understand it all better later when we have His perspective. :)

Lii-Lii said...

I just discovered your blog recently through Latter-Day Homeschooling. You have truly inspired me! I too am a single homeschooling mum, and it's so nice to know I'm not the only one out there! I'm so thankful for your open and honest remarks-- especially what you wrote about In God We Trust. It was really a reminder I needed. Thank you!

Matthew said...

It's not very often that you get to hear about what others are thinking in such a personal and honest way. As I've begun to read your posts, my eyes have been opened to the fact that I'm not the only one who struggles and hurts trying to figure life out. Your posts are enlightening, comforting, and endearing. Thank you for your example.

Annmarie Worthington said...

Lii-Lii and Matthew,

Thank you for your very kind words.


Kimberly said...

I just found your blog today and did a lot of reading. You are truly an amazing woman and I have a great deal of admiration for you.

I especially want to thank you for your honesty in your struggles with trusting God. This is something I struggle with too and it is wonderful to know I am not the only one!