There is a large group of people waiting for me to renounce Mormonism. They pray for my repentance. They occasionally mention my need for it. I’m sure they wonder what is taking me so long. They think of me and shake their heads. Today I’d like to explain why I’ve not “repented”.
I have found Christ. While I did love and worship Him before, it’s deeper now because I understand Him more. It’s like when you first meet someone and have an instant bond with. You like them. After a time, however, as you really get to know them, it’s different. You know THEM and it makes you love them even more.
That is how I feel about my faith. I know Christ and my Heavenly Father more than I ever have. When I was a reformed protestant, I loved my Savior. I truly did. Yet, if I’m being honest, I felt something was missing. I’d read my scriptures, which I loved and felt somehow I was missing something. The only thing I can liken it to is reading a literary passage where I know there is a deeper meaning I should be grasping. I can kind of see it, but it’s blurry and just out of reach.
Other times, the problem was more obvious. I had the distinct feeling that we, like the Pharisees during the life of the Savior, were missing the point. There were also aspects of Scripture we seemed to be ignoring.
In all my life, I’ve never felt closer to my God. I finally know what that passage means when it says “My sheep hear my voice.” I know what it means to be led by the Spirit of God. I know my God and He knows me. I know what it means to have the Savior call you friend. I know what it means to have Him beside me. Really beside me.
Here are the things Mormonism has added to my life:
- A much deeper knowledge of the Godhead and communion with them.
- Real peace that comes from knowing I am in His will.
- The constant companionship of the Holy Spirit, including His whispered guidance.
- Priesthood ordinances that do things I couldn’t even begin to delineate here.
- The FULLNESS of the gospel. I no longer have to read my scriptures and wonder why something is not a part of gospel living anymore, because it is a part of it. After all, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Why would I give that up?
So, that is why I am not willing to “repent”. Can those of you who think I am going to hell still pray for me? Of course! But, while you do, take a moment to sincerely pray and ask your Father in Heaven if maybe you’re not missing the point.