The Beauty of Trials

Each of us has at some point in our lives endured a painful experience.  The last five years of my life have been especially difficult. In fact, I feel like I’ve aged more in these last five years than I have in all my other years cumulatively. There have been frightening moments when I concluded that the only solution was  for me to leave this earth.

I have a vivid memory of contacting Dr. Bell, who is both a friend mine and an employer (as well as a doctor) and telling him I was concerned that I needed to be put on some kind of anti-depressant medication. I had been devoting an increasing amount of my time giving thought to suicide. There were moments that it seemed like the only sane solution. I’d even formulated a plan. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to realize how selfish I was being. I have children, which denies me the right to only think of myself.   My reason for contacting Dr. Bell was the fear that one night I would struggle so much that rational thoughts wouldn’t intervene.

I didn’t like the idea of anti-depressants, but thought it might be a good preventative measure for me. I was afraid something was wrong with me emotionally. He listened carefully to everything I had to say before replying. He then said that given everything I was going through in my life, he would be more concerned about my emotional well-being if I did not have those kind of thoughts. The fact that I was struggling showed that I was dealing with the issues and had not checked out. He also felt confident there would not be a moment in my life where I didn’t think of the children. Therefore, he concluded the anti-depressants were unnecessary in my case.

Fortunately, he was right. Though I’ve had many more painful, heart breaking days than encouraging ones, I’ve managed to live through them all and even become stronger as a result. So why am I bringing this up in a post entitled the Beauty of Trials? Because I want you to know, before I tell you how wonderful they are, that I have been there. I understand what it is to feel so trapped by your trials you’re confident the only way to end the pain is to die. I know what it is like to be so disillusioned with humanity you think there is not a truly reputable person on the planet. In fact,  around a year and a half ago I went through such a heart-rending experience that was not only unrighteous, but callously cold and calculated with someone I loved and trusted, and was supposedly above reproach,  that I was sure I would NEVER trust another living soul again. There are very few things anyone could have done that would have ripped me to shreds more than this “friend” did. Please believe me when I tell you I understand.

Yet, throughout all the anguish, I have learned that every life experience, both good and bad, my Father in Heaven has used to make something more precious than gold. I hope I can communicate it well enough. In a recent study I’ve been doing on the New Testament book of James, the topic of trials marched out front and center. You’ve probably read the passage a dozen times, as I have, in the past. It wasn’t until last night when asking the Lord to open its meaning to me while I dug deeper, with word studies and cross references, that I began to mine just some of its beauty. There is even more that I have to learn, but I am on my way. Maybe you’re quicker than I am and have already plunged the depths of its meaning, if so, bear with me as I get to share my joy in learning. The passage says:

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations, knowing that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” ~James 1:2-4”

We all know that trials make us stronger. But there is so much more to it than that. The first thing I did was look at the original meaning of the words and not just the current translation I had. Be patient with me as I give some definitions and take the verses apart phrase by phrase.

….count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations….

Divers- Those used to King James English may already know that this word means varied, but I “grew up” with the NASB translation, so I needed a refresher.

The next word, temptations, takes on a much deeper meaning in its original vocabulary. It is the Greek word Peirasmos, which means a trial or test divinely permitted with a beneficial purpose and effect.

Now we are getting somewhere. These aren’t just temptations, especially since elsewhere in scripture it explicitly says God does not tempt anyone. These are tests specifically allowed into our lives for a purpose.

I want you right now to think about a trial you are currently facing. Now remember that this was sent to you for a beneficial purpose. We’ll find out what specifically in a moment. But, doesn’t it take at least a teeny tiny portion of the burden off your shoulders knowing there is a specific reason this is in your life?

…knowing that the trying of your faith worketh patience…

Trying- This Greek word, dokimion, means a crucible or test. In the context it means a means by which our faith is proven. Not as in, “we’ll see if your faith is real” kind of proof, although it certainly can give you an indicator of that. This is more of a purifying kind of proof, the way gold is purified in the fire.

Patience-  A literal translation of this word, hupomone, means “abiding under”, the flavor of what it means is to bear up or endure courageously.

…that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing…

Perfect- Teleios means having reached its end, complete, fully grown and mature.

Entire- holokleros means sound in every part, complete, whole.

What God is trying to tell us is that He allows these trials into our lives to make us completely ready for exaltation. They are designed to make us more like our Savior! As I was doing some cross-referencing, I came across a similar passage that has the same meaning but in slightly different terminology.

“Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold  that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ….receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.” ~ First Peter 1:6-7,9

Though I think we know instinctively that there is some heavenly purpose for all we go through, it is amazingly joyful when you think it through. Why can I count trials a joy? Because they are the building blocks to spiritual completion. This isn’t an instantaneous result. That tiny word in the beginning of James 1:4 “let” qualifies the whole thing. We have to allow the trials to perfect the maturing of our faith. How does that happen? I believe it is in our response to our trials.

Sitting down, or better yet kneeling down, and asking our Father in Heaven what we are to learn through this is always helpful. It is that quiet submission that we read about in Mosiah 3:19.

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek humble patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

Even if we are submissive and realize the truly eternal benefits of what we’re living through, I don’t believe that “count it all joy” means we will not feel the sadness and weight of what we are having to endure. Instead, it means that underneath it all we can have the quiet assurance and confidence that we are becoming like God as a result. You name any trial I have endured and I can tell you at least one (but often several) spiritual benefits and growth I have received as a result.

Oh! How frustrated I am that I am not communicating the beauty of this Scripture well enough. I’m just not doing it justice. What I request that you do is to open your scriptures to this passage in James and ask the  Holy Spirit to make known to you the riches, depth, and beauty of what the apostle is communicating the to Israelites who’d been scattered abroad from persecution. I pray that the Spirit will give you a glimpse of your future glory that is a direct result of your present pain if you respond to it in righteousness.

Your trials aren’t for naught. They are beautiful.

The Trinity

by Annmarie Worthington

Recently, one of my favorite homeschool companies came out publicly stating that Mitt Romney should not be elected because he is accursed by God. This was based on the fact that he belongs to a church that does not hold to the traditional (and in their minds, Biblical) view of the trinity, and therefore is a member of a cult.
Now, I don’t care who you vote for (well….maybe I do, but I will allow you agency to choose for yourselves), however, I do hope you’ll take the election seriously, both thoughtfully and prayerfully choosing your preferred candidate. However, I want to address the idea that Mormonism does not hold to the Biblical view of the Trinity.
Many evangelical churches teach that not holding the traditional Trinitarian view is one of the key warning signs a group is a cult to be considered heretical, and therefore accursed. Now, if you’ve read my conversion story you know that I did not enter this church easily or lightly. I studied diligently for three years before joining at great sacrifice to my personal and emotional life. The Latter-Day Saint view of the Trinity was one of the first things I addressed with the ever patient missionaries.
In modern protestant thought, God the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are believed to be one in substance and being. Anything else is considered a heresy. Many protestants don’t realize this view wasn’t officially adopted until the Nicene Creed, around A.D. 325. Those that do, believe the creed saved the church from a developing heresy. I want to examine that line of thought to see if it is the Scriptural view. I don’t want my theology to be given to me by the popular vote of bishops in the fourth century. Instead, I want to examine carefully, to make sure my beliefs are in line with what my Father in Heaven really taught.  After all, the Savior Himself said, “….this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent.” John 17:3.
In order to have eternal life, we must know God correctly. It is easy to call something heretical without taking the time to carefully examine the issue. Good people, committed to their faiths, have been doing that for centuries. Who was it that called the Savior Jesus Christ a heretic? Was it the riotous rabble who wanted to rule their own lives? Was it the quiet peaceful citizens of Jerusalem just trying to keep their head down and survive the Roman occupation? Sometimes. But the ones who were most adamantly opposed to the “heretic” Jesus Christ were the religious leaders. It was the ones trained in the Scriptures that seemed to know them the least. So, please read this with an open mind. Pray. Ask God in Heaven to help you know what is true.
If I’m writing something that isn’t true, I beg God in Heaven to help me know that. My goal is to love and serve God as He desires, not as I desire.  It is my prayer that the same is true of you. With that in mind, let’s see what the Bible says about the Trinity.
There are two issues addressed by the Nicene Creed that I call into question. The first is the issue of plurality. Is God is one or three? The second is whether He is immaterial.  I’ll only address the first one today.

One or Three?

In John 10:30 our Savior makes a remarkable statement: “I and My Father are one.”  Well, there you go. He’s answered it. No need to look any further, right? They are one. But was that meant as a  literal number of persons, or as an illustration of who They are and how They work with one another? I believe it is the latter.
Also, in the Book of John, Jesus calls Himself “the vine”. No one questions the use of allegory in that passage. We know He is not literally calling Himself a vine. Instead, it is a word picture designed to help us understand part of His function in our lives. I believe the John passage about them being one is illustrative as well. Why? Well, let’s look at the Scriptural evidence, beginning in Genesis.

“In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

The Hebrew word for God in this passage is Elohim. ‘El’ means ‘mighty, strong’.  It is often used in reference to any God, not just the God of Heaven. Things get interesting in the ‘him’ ending. ‘Him’ is plural. This seems to indicate more than one ‘mighty, strong’ being. Genesis says it directly just a few verses later.

“Let Us make man in Our image.” Genesis 1:26, emphasis added.

He doesn’t say, Let me make man, but us. There is more than one. If that is the case and they really are separate, they would relate to one another as separate individuals, rather than one being throughout the Scriptures.
We see that very clearly in the way Jesus the Christ prayed to and spoke of His Father in heaven. Even the fact that He prayed shows they are not one substance. If so, He would be having more of an internal dialogue, just as we do when trying to work out a problem. Instead, His was real prayer. Sometimes pleading as He did in the garden,

“And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me:” Matthew 26:39

Other times in intercession for those He loved.

“But I have prayed for thee [Peter], that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Luke 22:32.

Ask yourself, why was He praying to begin with?  If they are one in substance and being there would be no need for Him to pray. He wasn’t doing it just to give an example to the rest of us, because He would most often go off alone to pray. He was praying because He needed to communicate with His Father.

The testimony of Jesus

   To me, however, the most important evidence comes from the words of the Savior Himself. What did He have to say about the relationship between He and His Father?

“My Father is greater than I” John 14:28

and

“I seek not Mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” John 5:30

There are many, many other passages I could write, but this post has to end sometime. I think these Scriptures clearly show they are distinct beings. However, we cannot ignore the John 10:30 passage where Jesus states they are one. What does He mean by that? Fortunately, the Scriptures have a great way of interpreting themselves. One of my favorite passages is of Jesus’s High Priestly Prayer in John 17. His time on earth was coming to a close. He was about to endure some of the most horrific agony anyone could experience. So He set Himself apart and prayed for us. Look carefully at verse 22.

“…that they may be one, even as we are one:” John 17:22, emphasis added.

It does not make sense that He would pray that we would become melded into one being. In this prayer He was praying for our unity. He wanted us to be one in purpose, just as He and His Father are one. Like-mindedness-- that is how they are one.

I wanted to write the many quotes of the ante-Nicene leaders, those who were closest to the time of Christ and the teachings of the original twelve apostles, such as Justin Martyr and Tertullian. However, I intentionally limited myself to the words of the Old and New Testament, because I realize those are the words that will hold validity with the evangelical community.

I hope this came across in the spirit intended. I know what a struggle it was for me to re-examine my belief system while I was studying Mormonism. All I ask is that you come at it with an open heart and mind. Maybe one day the Savior’s prayer will come to fruition and we will all be one as He and His Father are.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Where have I been?

I haven’t blogged in quite some time. Have you wondered what I’ve been doing? I have been dealing with Lyme disease. This is one of those cases where the treatment is, for a time, worse than the cure. I’ve been in loads of pain. Though people who’ve known about my diagnosis have commented that I have the worst luck, I don’t agree. It has truly been a blessing for me. Here’s why…

Sixteen years ago my body went haywire. I was pregnant with my first child. In my first trimester I gained four pounds. My second trimester was about the same. My third trimester I gained around 30 pounds. I couldn’t understand how, because I was too tired to even think about eating. I attributed it to one of the trials of pregnancy and felt it would end when I had my beloved child. However, labor came and went and I felt worse than before. Six months later, I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer.

Two surgeries and some radiation later, they said life would be semi-normal as long as I took my thyroid medicine. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. The medicine just didn’t work well for me. They’ve tried lots of different doses and switched me from generic to name brand, but nothing seemed to help. Eventually they put me on two different types of thyroid medications.  More endocrine problems ensued—not just with my thyroid. It seemed like all the doctors could do was give me more and more medications to do what my body should be doing on its own, yet my health was getting worse. No one could figure out what was wrong with my body and why it didn’t respond to medications--until recently.

A few months ago I was having a lot more trouble with pain than I normally do. Plus, I was even more exhausted than ususal. I asked my home teacher for a blessing. In it he said my doctor would find out what was wrong with me and would be able to treat it. After 15 years of doctors playing guinea pig on me that sounded like music to my ears.  I saved up enough money to go to the doctor in anticipation of the fulfillment of my priesthood blessing.

The morning of my appointment, I got down on my knees and reminded Heavenly Father of His promise. We weren’t five minutes into my visit with my doctor when he said, “Annmarie, you’re going to think I’m insane, but I think you have Lyme disease. Not only that, but I think you’ve had it for years. I truly believe that this has been what has caused all your endocrine problems. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is what caused your thyroid cancer.”

I didn’t think he was crazy. Not because I understood the science behind any of it, but because all that was ringing through my head was my priesthood blessing. I trust my doctor, but I really trust my Heavenly Father.

He drew some blood and two weeks later he called me in for the results. I had a very high positive and all three anti-bodies, which surprised even my sweet doctor. The treatment is three different types of strong antibiotics for about a year.  He warned me that the treatments were hard and told me that I would get worse before I got better. He was right. I’ve been in more pain, I’m even more tired, I keep getting fevers, my stomach hurts all the time, and my muscles have been both spasming and locking up.

However, I am much luckier than his other patient with Lyme. He told me one of his patients has been having seizures and even had to have a feeding tube put in. I am truly blessed. Plus, with the amount of pain I’ve been in, Heavenly Father has been very merciful and has given me the grace to fulfill my responsibilities. I’m not really missing much work. I’m still able to care for my children. Not many people in my situation are as fortunate. Plus, finally after all these years I have hope.

In the meantime, life goes on. My children are growing so fast. Sarah was baptized. Rachel has started Young Womens, Dillon got his patriarchal blessing, and Neil starts kindergarten in the fall.

There has been progress in my life too. I’m 3/4 of the way through the revisions of my first novel. Plus, I’ve been learning SO much in my Scriptures. I’ve got a list of things I’m learning in the books of Mosiah and the Doctrine and Covenants that I can’t wait to share with you. Now that I’ve gotten a kind of schedule down with my treatments and keeping up with the house (sort of), I’ll be blogging again.

I wouldn’t mind your prayers over the next few months, not only for my healing, but for my first novel. I want to do a good job on it. I want it to bring enjoyment to the 10 and up crowd, but I also want it to give them a desire to be better people. Well, that is it for today. Look back toward the middle of next week for articles on what I’ve been learning.

New Article

I didn't have time to post this weekend, but I did give a talk on tithing that turned into an article (not about tithing). Meridian published it this morning. You should be able to just click on the Meridian link on the right-hand column to get to my author page, though that particular link breaks often. If you have trouble with it, just message me, or you can just go to ldsmag.com and do a search of my name.

El Roi- The God Who Sees (or how to have fruit in a trial)

by Annmarie Worthington

Today I want to talk about another Hebrew name used for God—El Roi. We meet Him in Genesis 16 through the story of Hagar.

Hagar was the Egyptian maidservant of Sarai (Abram’s wife). This is before they became Abraham and Sarah. Sarai, frustrated with her inability to conceive, gave her maidservant to Abram as a second wife in the hope he could conceive through her.

Hagar did conceive. It must have been hard to be Hagar. Here you’re given to a man without much say in the matter. Now your pregnant. It is obvious Abram has no love for Hagar because he doesn’t seem to come to her aid in any tangible way later in the story.

Next Hagar begins to resent Sarai and Sarai begins to resent Hagar. Isn’t that just like human beings? We fight. We resent others. We’re jealous of our fellow beings. Sarai gives Abram an earful. What was Abram’s response?

“Thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee.” vs. 6

I already felt bad for Hagar. Now I feel worse. Really, Abram. “Thy maid”? You’re the one who married her and got her pregnant. Do you feel no responsibility toward her? She’s not just Sarai’s maid, she’s your wife.

As in many situations of jealousy, people are dealt with harshly. That is what happened to Hagar. In fact, Sarai treated Hagar so badly that she ran away. It must have taken a lot for her to run away. Think about it. A pregnant Egyptian servant running away. No money. No relations. Nowhere to go. There must have been serious provocation to get her to run away from her food and shelter.

While she was by a well, the angel of Jehovah approached her and asked her what she was doing. She admits running away from Sarai. Here He gives her a difficult command.

“Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.” vs. 9

He then promised to bless her seed exceedingly. She honored him and called him El Roi, the God who sees.

If you’ve ever been used for someone’s pleasure and then tossed aside, maybe you can relate to Hagar. Or maybe you’ve been mistreated in another way and wonder where the justice is. Few people will get through this life without being wronged by someone. I want to offer some help and comfort to you in those situations.

Hagar is right. Our God sees. He knows everything that has happened to you. His heart is full of compassion. The pain you feel; He feels. Just as the Savior wept at the graveside of His friend Lazarus, He weeps for your pain as well. He loves you.

Maybe you feel like He can’t love you because He let the person who harmed you get away with it. Believe me, they are not getting away with anything. They may have lied to the authorities and gotten away with it. They may have lied to the Bishop and gotten away with it. They cannot lie to God and get away with it. Psalm 139:7-12 shows that there is no place to hide from the eyes of God. He sees EVERYTHING.

One day we will all face the judgment seat of God. Even those who’ve harmed you. There they will not be able to “spin” their way out of just recompense, because God judges with a righteous judgment. He can truly do that because He has seen everything.

You may wonder why He doesn’t just go ahead and punish them right now. Why does He wait until eternity for complete justice to be meted out? Because, my beloved brothers and sisters, they are His children too. Maybe His punishment is delayed because He is working on their hearts. Maybe He wants to give them as much time as possible to repent. Think of how grateful you are for the forbearance of God on your behalf. Think of the times He’s given you opportunities to repent. Let’s offer that same compassion and grace to those that have harmed us.

Oh wouldn’t it be so much better to be able to join hands in eternity with those who’ve harmed us because they repented, then just to see them punished? Can you see how glorious that would be? How much praise and glory that would bring to the atonement!

But, what do we do in the meantime, when people are clinging to their sins and calling it righteous?

Hebrews 12:15 warns us, “Looking diligently…..lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you.”

I know there are wicked people out there. I know people do many unrighteous deeds and hide them. But, be careful about becoming bitter. It only allows the perpetrators to harm you more.  A couple of years ago I was struggling with someone who was bringing me harm. For about a year or so, I tried to work out a way to maintain friendship, but it became increasingly difficult. One final act of unrighteousness pushed me over the edge and I decided this person could not be trusted and I’m safer away from the perpetrator.

I was devastated. The breach of trust was almost more than my worn out heart could bear. I cried out to God. I pleaded with Him to help me understand why. Shortly after that, my friend began having severe trials of their own. You’d think it would be tempting to think, Well, that’s what you get. But, that is not what my heart felt. Instead I felt sad. I don’t want vengeance. I want righteousness.

I noticed a change in my heart after that. Yes, I’m still devastated. Yes, I’m not sure I will ever completely trust someone again. Yes, my life has been 20 times harder as a result. But, I will not be bitter. Instead of just praying for God to deal with the person, I began praying for God to lead the person. To help them develop an honest heart. That has healed my heart more than I think any punishment could. Compassion is a healer all its own.

I want you to trust in El Roi. Trust in the God who sees all. Trust that He is dealing with it. Protect your heart from bitterness.

Let me share one more thing and then I promise I will shut up. Everything that God allows to happen to you, (and I do mean everything) is for your good. One of my favorite passages in Romans says this very well.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” Romans 8:28-29

Each time I have had a trial and asked the question, “How can this make me more like His Son?” I’ve gotten wonderful answers from the Spirit. Even the trial I had over the last two years that I mentioned earlier, has produced wonderful fruit in my life. But, all the trial can do is plant the seed. It is up to us to make sure it does not develop a bitter root. It is up to us to make sure it produces beautiful fruit.

Elohim- Who Made Us

 

by Annmarie Worthington

No, I haven’t disappeared off the planet. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and whenever I think on my blog, I say things I shouldn’t. So, I’ve been thinking through some things in private, not allowing myself to blog. In the meantime, I’ve had some great Scripture studies I want to share with you.

I’ve been going through all the Hebrew names used for God in order to get to know my Heavenly Father and my Savior better. You can never spend enough study time learning about them. I’ve also been doing an in-depth study of Mosiah. But, that’s not done, so for now I’ll just bring up the names of God I’ve been learning.

The first one is Elohim. It is sometimes translated Almighty God or Creator. Elohim is taken from two Hebrew roots. The first is El which means mighty or strong. It is used in reference for any gods. The second root is him, which is essentially a plural ending. Its first occurrence in scripture is Genesis 1:1

“In the beginning, God (Elohim) created the heavens and the earth.”

Because of the plural ending, it really should have been translated “In the beginning Gods created the heavens and the earth. You see futher evidence plurality in Genesis 1:26.

“Then God (Elohim) said, “Let Us make man in Our image….”

The Scriptures go into more detail about His creation of us in the Psalms.

“For thou hast possessed my reins (Hebrew=created my inward parts): Thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13-14

Some translations say, “…thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb”.

I’d been thinking about God as the maker of our bodies. Mostly because my body sometimes seems defective. I’m hypo-thyroid. Even with thyroid medicine my body doesn’t convert my T3 to T4 (or maybe it is the other way around) so I have to take two kinds of thyroid medicines. I also don’t convert my folic acid, so I have to take medicine for that, AND I have PSOD, so I have to take medicine for that.  It gets tiresome,  literally so, when my thyroid medicine isn’t working.

Does that mean that God wasn’t paying attention when he was forming my inward parts? Was He napping during the endocrine system section? No. I think He made me this way intentionally. As He does all of us. Why do I think that?

Look in Exodus 4:10-11

“And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the Lord?”

Moses was giving his reasons for not speaking to Pharoah. He had a speech impediment. Surely God wouldn’t call him to be a public speaker, let alone a national ambassador? Why yes, yes He would. Especially since He was the one who made Moses’s mouth. Therefore, if He called Moses to the task of speaking, Moses would be up to that task. Maybe he’d need God’s help, but he’d be able to accomplish what he was called to.

Why would God make Moses that way if He knew He’d need to speak? Maybe the better question is why does He make any of us “defective”. The answer is in John 9:2-3.

“And his disciples asked him, saying , ‘Master, who did sin , this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?’  Jesus answered , ‘Neither hath this man sinned , nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.’”

Let me make a quick doctrinal tangent in this verse before I continue our topic. Notice that they asked him if this man had sinned. Yet, he was born blind. If he was born that way, when could he have possibly sinned? I’m so glad you asked.  This verse demonstrates that the disciples clearly believed in a pre-earth existence. There was no other opportunity for the man to sin before he was born. I know many evangelicals criticize  us for our belief in a pre-earth existence, saying it is mentioned nowhere in the Bible. I believe it is there, you just have to read the passages with an open mind.  Tangent over.

The Creator intentionally made this man blind. Why? To make manifest the works of God. His deformity was on purpose. It was easy to see how God would be made manifest in him. The world got to learn of the Savior’s healing power to restore his sight.

But, you might ask how the works of God can be made manifest in your or my defects. Not sure. I just know if He made you the way, He did it for a purpose. So, ask Him. You might be surprised at what He’ll accomplish in and through you BECAUSE of the various ways your body doesn’t cooperate with the norm.

I’m learning to rely on His grace. I also think people can see me rely on His grace. With my schedule (single mom, homeschooling, several jobs) people might be able to attribute any ability to keep up with all that by my being one of those lucky energetic, high metabolism people. But, with my physical issues, that is not only NOT the reason I accomplish what I do, it’s not possible. I truly am only able to do the things I do because I know my Heavenly Father called me to them and He will supply my needs. He is the one who lifts me up when I am so exhausted all I want to do is cry. He is the one who brings me comfort when I feel I’ve been asked to do too much alone. It has nothing to do with my energy and capabilities at all. I think that brings Him glory. When people ask me how I do it, I can truly answer, I don’t. He does.

I can’t wait to share with you some of the other names of God I’ve learned. But, this will have to do today.

When Heaven Seems Silent…

I know it has been a while since I have posted. The children and I went a little over a month passing back and forth illnesses. It seemed like I could stay well for about two days before I fell victim to another ailment. I finally realized I was doing it to myself by trying to keep my normal schedule the moment I recovered, which would just send me back to square one.  After realizing I have to rest to recover, I am better. My house is a wreck, but I am healthy.

I have a topic today that I think all of us have faced at one point in our lives, seeming silence from heaven. Thankfully, I do not currently have this occurring in my life right now, but it has in the past and I’m sure will again. The most difficult time for me when this occurred was when I was investigating Mormonism. All the missionaries (and believe me, I went through quite a few of them) would tell me if I would just pray with a sincere heart, the Spirit would show me the truth of all things. Never was there a more sincere prayer on the earth. I begged. I pleaded. I wanted to know the truth. Yet, silence, was the only answer I received. He wasn’t even telling me it wasn’t true.

I was sure He wasn’t answering because their must be something wrong with me. I put a spotlight on my soul to search out anything that could be of offense to Him. I confessed every thing I could think of. I asked Him to show me the sins I hadn’t thought of. Yet, still silence. In this case, the silence was my fault. You see, Heavenly Father knew I wasn’t ready for the answer. I wanted the answer, but wasn’t ready for it. I went to a church that taught that God would allow people to be deceived in order to be vessels of wrath. My biggest fear was that I would become one of those. Deceived into believing Mormonism, in order to be an object lesson of wrath. There was so much fear in my heart, there was  no room for faith to penetrate.

Before God could answer the question I wanted the answer for, He had to show me who He really was. I had to learn that God really cared about me. I had to learn that He wasn’t the kind of parent who would lie to one of His children in order to fulfill some bigger universal, predetermined plan. I had to have faith in His character. That must have taken three years, because that is how long I prayed about the Book of Mormon and the LDS faith before I received a clear answer.

Does this mean God was silent that whole time until I learned that all important lesson? Not at all. He was there working in the background, arranging things to happen just as they needed to, in order for me to learn.

He does that for all of us. I want you to know, and really believe, that God is working in your heart and life at all times. Sometimes He is directly interacting with you through His Spirit, giving you direct communication and revelation. Other times He is working from the shadows. The book of Esther is a great example of this. Did you know that it is the only book in the entire Bible where God is not mentioned one time? It’s true. However, throughout the whole book He is there working in the shadows. Not only arranging the affairs of men, but making sure justice is dealt out as needed.  Sometimes with a  great sense of Irony, like when the wicked Haman is hung on the very gallows he had built to destroy Mordecai. The more I study this book, the more I fall in love with my Father in Heaven all over again.  The next time you read the book of Esther, note how much had to be divinely arranged to save the Israelites.

Though, we may know intellectually He is there and hasn’t forgotten us, there will be times in our lives that He seems silent. Today, I want to write four things that are helpful to me when that occurs.

1. Remember and re-count the history of God in the affairs of man.

Do you ever wonder why so many stories are repeated over and over in the Scriptures? It is for our benefit. To help us have something to bring to mind when we need it. Don’t just go over the affairs of God in the lives of the people in Scripture. Review His affairs in your life. I hope you write down important events that God has done for you, so you have something to look back on when your faith needs a push. If not, start today. Stop reading my puny blog and write down everything you can think of that God has ever done for you.

God is involved in your life, and He has promised to stay that way. One of my favorite Scriptures is Philippians 1:6

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hat begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

He is there and He is working.

2. Never forget who you are.

You are a son or daughter of the God of the universe. You are Heavenly Father’s spirit child brought forth before the foundation of the world. One day, you will return to be with Him.

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is.” I John 3:2

3. Know that God is righteous in ALL His ways.

This is sometimes hard. The world is full of unrighteousness. Sometimes wicked things happen to righteous people. Does that mean God no longer loves us, or we are somehow not one of the children He pays much attention to? Absolutely not. Look at Matthew 7:11.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

We love our children more than our own lives. Yet our love is evil when compared with His great love. Think on how much more goodness that means He wants for us.

I used to think I must not be one of God’s important children because my life has not been an easy one. I wasn’t protected as a child the way some children are. As an adult I have faced equally heart breaking events. Was there something wrong with me? Did I disappoint my Father in the pre-earth existence? Not at all.

Everything Heavenly Father allows into our lives is filtered through His fingers of love. He doesn’t allow anything to come our way that He won’t give us the grace to endure. Why does He allow the hardships though?  Have you ever seen a toddler fall and struggle to get back up? What would happen if that child never fell? He would never develop all the necessary muscles to function in life. Difficulties make us strong. They make us more useful.

Doctrine & Covenants 122 goes over this quite well. Heavenly Father listed out all the tribulations Joseph Smith was to endure and why. I’ve already written a post on this, so I won’t bore you by repeating it. If you haven’t read it, you can read it here.

Another great passage that discusses this is Romans 8:28-29

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”

Every thing God allows into our lives is there for a purpose. It is designed to make us more like His Son Jesus Christ. It is preparing us for eternity.

4. Finally, remember that our faith is tested in the silence of God.

There is a verse in Psalms that I spent quite some time praying about its meaning. Yet, when the Spirit showed it to me, it was so obvious I wondered why I even needed to pray about it to begin with.

“The Lord is in his holy temple, the Lord’s throne is in heaven: His eyes behold, His eyelids try, the children of men.” Psalm 11:4

I wanted to know what it meant that His eyelids try the children of men. I realized it meant that sometimes when it seems like God has his eyes shut to our dilemma, He is giving us an opportunity to grow our faith. We are tried by His closed eyes.  How can that grow our faith? It helps us rest in Him. To trust His character and His love. It' helps to show us if we follow the passage that says, “Be still and know that I am God.”  There is another passage in Doctrine & Covenants  that says, “Doubt not. Fear not.”  The seeming silence of Heaven shows if our heart is really ready to honor Him completely. Habakkuk puts it beautifully.

“Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.” 3:17-19

Remember, that when the Heavens seem silent, they really only seem that way. Our Father is still on His throne. He, the Savior, and the Spirit are working as one in our lives. They are there. Trust in them.