Why A Manger?

Hello everyone! I’ve had such a busy week. I’ve done more revisions on my novel and have officially drafted my query letter to begin sending to agents. I’ve also finished the first week of my Mosiah inductive study to send to those who’ve agreed to be in  my test group. We’ve got a good sized group so I’m excited to start getting feedback. If all goes well, I’ll have the Mosiah study completed and ready to send to anyone who wants to know their scriptures more in depth in just a few months. Plus, this morning I got to teach the last chapter in the George Albert Smith lesson book, Righteous Living in Perilous Times. What an instructive chapter.

Now onto today’s topic…..

You may not know this about me, but I love collecting both nutcrackers and nativity sets. I don’t have many, but I do love them. You may send donations to….  just kidding. 

I’ve been thinking about the nativity a lot lately. For years I thought about the injustice of the King of Kings having to be born in a stable. Imagine, a filthy manger filled with animals. Couldn’t the innkeeper have at least asked anyone if they’d be willing to give up or share their room for the woman in labor? Could not the Spirit have prompted some righteous soul to help them? Instead, he was born in the most humble of circumstances. Our humble Savior. I love Him so much.

It occurred to me last week, and I don’t know why it never had previously, that Heavenly Father arranged those circumstances intentionally. I mean, He is in charge of the universe. He could have arranged affairs to be more in Mary’s favor. Why didn’t He? Here is what I think. God loves symbolism. The temples, both ancient and modern are rife with it, as are both the ancient and modern Scriptures. So why should we not find symbolism in his birthplace?

1 Corinthians 5:7 calls the Savior our Passover. What does that mean?  In our Old Testaments we have the story of the Israelite Passover. Pharoah’s heart continued to harden and he refused to let the Israelites leave. Moses warned him that if he didn’t change his mind that God would destroy the firstborn son in every household. God is holy and compassionate and does not punish indiscriminately.  He provided a means of safety for all who feared Him. Any family that did not want to be touched by the destroying angel was to slay an unblemished male lamb and spread the blood on the doorposts of their home. When the destroying angel saw the blood he would pass over that home and the firstborn would be safe.  Many children died that night, but not in the Israelite homes. They obeyed their God and were spared.

Now, if Christ is our Passover lamb, does it not make sense that He, too, should be born in a stable. The angel told the shepherds their Savior was born that night. I think he was preparing their hearts for the fact that He would not come as a conqueror to banish the Romans, as many of the Jews hoped, but instead as a humble servant and sacrifice for our sins. So that, if we repent and put our faith and trust in Him we too shall be spared by the blood of the unblemished lamb Jesus Christ. Doctrine & Covenants puts this better than any passage I have ever found thus far. When we are standing before our God and the vileness of our sin is exposed, the Passover Lamb steps forth.

“Listen to Him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before Him—Saying: Father, behold the suffering and death of Him who did no sin, in whom Thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of Thy Son which was shed, the blood of Him whom Thou gavest that Thyself might be glorified; Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto Me and have everlasting life.” D & C 45:3-5.

Do you hear the pleading of the Savior on your behalf?  Do you see the gush of His blood that was spilt for your sins? I will never look at a manger the same again.

On Thanksgiving and Crowns

I am an emotional bulimic. I either keep everything in or I purge uncontrollably. Years ago, a close friend said I reminded her of Elinor in Sense and Sensibility. She had not read the book, but was referring to the Emma Thompson movie version. Elinor does such a great job maintaining proper distance, dignity, and decorum throughout all her internal heartbreak, but the moment she finds out Edward is not engaged she completely falls apart.

I’m working on finding a balance so I don’t continue to do the same. I’m great through trials, some heart rending and on such a level as to be emotionally crippling.  Throughout I remain steady. Then, something minor will happen and, for some unexplainable reason, I fall completely apart. I think a habit of consistently, yet gently, letting thoughts and emotions out, as if through a sifter I will be less in danger of having occasional waterfalls.

Between my illness and moving to a new home I have had very little time to blog, or to do as much writing as I would like. In fact, I keep receiving emails from lovely people I’ve never met asking me when my next article in Meridian will appear. I have responded soon, but haven’t written soon.  So, if I am going to be a person of my word, I must work in the time. Writing is one of the ways I provide for my family, so you’d think it would be a priority. However, any writing I do for the church is done without financial remuneration. So, generally when I have a moment to write it is geared toward venues where I earn income. Not out of greediness, but wisdom in caring for our obligations and the use of my time. I’m not making an excuse, just an explanation.

Before any article writing however, I wanted to share something on a more personal level.

Thank you for…

I am exceedingly thankful to my Heavenly Father for the manifold blessings He has consistently bestowed upon me. I want to make sure I express it. For, I have a tendency to feel great gratitude in my heart, but it seems to stay there without vocalization, which could come across as unthankful. One of the items I am most grateful for is our new home. It is the nicest place in which I have ever had the privilege to occupy. Most of my homes in the past have been disappointing. In fact, when my husband (at the time) signed the lease on our last home, I cried a little.

It was necessary for us to move. At the time we were living in an 800 square foot home with three children, one of  whom had to sleep in the living room due to lack of space. Plus, our landlord had sold the duplex and the new owners didn’t like how many children we had.  The new lease had a clause in it that we couldn’t have any more children. There was no way we could sign that! Yet, there was something about the new house which didn’t sit right with me. I was uncomfortable with the move and didn’t think I’d feel safe in the area. Hence the tears.

My new home is different. Though many people feel southwest Little Rock is unsafe, we are in a quiet tucked away neighborhood in which I feel completely peaceful. On top of all that we have much more space than we’ve ever had in our lifetimes AND, like a cherry on top, the home is beautiful.  My landlords (who happen also to be friends of mine) went through great trouble and expense to refinish the hardwoods and re-carpet the bedrooms before we moved in. Never have I gotten to call something so lovely, mine. I’m thrilled with my new home.

I’m grateful to my Heavenly Father for being indulgent with me.  I’m also grateful He provided such wonderful friends to my family in the Nance’s, and that they would even consider us as occupants, while making the rent affordable. Every day I wake up and cannot believe such a beautiful place is mine to live in. I feel like I’m in a fairy tale.

The blessings haven’t stopped there. My illness has been difficult. The pain has been a problem, but in the last few months especially I have days where I cannot stop vomiting. You may think it strange that this is being mentioned in my list of gratitude. However, it has made me very grateful for endurance. Many people being treated for this same ailment are not faring as well as I am. I hear horror stories all the time from people I know who are also undergoing these treatments. They cannot work. They need people to come and help them with their children. They’re on disability and have home health nurses to help care for them. Yet for me it has been different.

For the most part, we are living normally. I’ve continued to work. I’ve continued to raise and school the children. I don’t feel well and there are days where normal functioning is a challenge, but even on the vomity days my responsibilities are getting done. I am so grateful for this.  Endurance is a real blessing.

Crowns

Last night I was reading about endurance in the book of James. “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to those that love Him.” James 1:12

The word for endureth is the Greek hupomeno.  It literally means to remain under. In other words it means to remain in place and not flee from the trial. It means not to give up. The word for tried is dokimos. It means accepted, pleasing, acceptable.

When we accept the trials the Lord brings into our lives and get through them righteously, we are pleasing to God. As if that weren’t enough of a reward, we receive  a crown.  In this case the crown of life. There are other crowns mentioned in Scripture. If you want to do a quick study, you might read 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, 1 Thessalonians 2:19-20, 2 Timothy 4:8,  1 Peter 5:4, and Revelation 2:10; 3:11; 4:10-11. This list is by no means exhaustive, just the ones I went through last night.

The last verse is my favorite. The apostles offered their crowns to the Savior by placing them at his feet as He sat at His throne. The idea of earning crowns in order to give them to the Savior is very exciting to me. You might think me strange, but I guess you’d have to see love the same way I do.

I love my Savior because He loves me. I’m so grateful to Him for His love of me. Unconditional, undeserved, unpretended. (Yes, I know that is not a real word). It means He never pretends He loves me just to get something out of me. His love is sincere and without lust. I can trust Him. That is such a rare gift, and one I will not throw away. When I love someone, I desire to give myself to them completely, to serve them wholeheartedly. That is how I feel about my Savior. To be honest, any crown I earn isn’t truly mine anyway. I couldn’t have attained it without His atonement and grace. I am not who I am without Him. The crowns are His. He earned them.

What about you? I’m sure you have much to be thankful for. Have you remembered to share your gratitude with your Heavenly Father? If not (and we’ve all done it), take the time to do so now. Don’t just thank Him privately. Thank Him publicly.  He deserves the praise.

The Trinity

by Annmarie Worthington

Recently, one of my favorite homeschool companies came out publicly stating that Mitt Romney should not be elected because he is accursed by God. This was based on the fact that he belongs to a church that does not hold to the traditional (and in their minds, Biblical) view of the trinity, and therefore is a member of a cult.
Now, I don’t care who you vote for (well….maybe I do, but I will allow you agency to choose for yourselves), however, I do hope you’ll take the election seriously, both thoughtfully and prayerfully choosing your preferred candidate. However, I want to address the idea that Mormonism does not hold to the Biblical view of the Trinity.
Many evangelical churches teach that not holding the traditional Trinitarian view is one of the key warning signs a group is a cult to be considered heretical, and therefore accursed. Now, if you’ve read my conversion story you know that I did not enter this church easily or lightly. I studied diligently for three years before joining at great sacrifice to my personal and emotional life. The Latter-Day Saint view of the Trinity was one of the first things I addressed with the ever patient missionaries.
In modern protestant thought, God the Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are believed to be one in substance and being. Anything else is considered a heresy. Many protestants don’t realize this view wasn’t officially adopted until the Nicene Creed, around A.D. 325. Those that do, believe the creed saved the church from a developing heresy. I want to examine that line of thought to see if it is the Scriptural view. I don’t want my theology to be given to me by the popular vote of bishops in the fourth century. Instead, I want to examine carefully, to make sure my beliefs are in line with what my Father in Heaven really taught.  After all, the Savior Himself said, “….this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent.” John 17:3.
In order to have eternal life, we must know God correctly. It is easy to call something heretical without taking the time to carefully examine the issue. Good people, committed to their faiths, have been doing that for centuries. Who was it that called the Savior Jesus Christ a heretic? Was it the riotous rabble who wanted to rule their own lives? Was it the quiet peaceful citizens of Jerusalem just trying to keep their head down and survive the Roman occupation? Sometimes. But the ones who were most adamantly opposed to the “heretic” Jesus Christ were the religious leaders. It was the ones trained in the Scriptures that seemed to know them the least. So, please read this with an open mind. Pray. Ask God in Heaven to help you know what is true.
If I’m writing something that isn’t true, I beg God in Heaven to help me know that. My goal is to love and serve God as He desires, not as I desire.  It is my prayer that the same is true of you. With that in mind, let’s see what the Bible says about the Trinity.
There are two issues addressed by the Nicene Creed that I call into question. The first is the issue of plurality. Is God is one or three? The second is whether He is immaterial.  I’ll only address the first one today.

One or Three?

In John 10:30 our Savior makes a remarkable statement: “I and My Father are one.”  Well, there you go. He’s answered it. No need to look any further, right? They are one. But was that meant as a  literal number of persons, or as an illustration of who They are and how They work with one another? I believe it is the latter.
Also, in the Book of John, Jesus calls Himself “the vine”. No one questions the use of allegory in that passage. We know He is not literally calling Himself a vine. Instead, it is a word picture designed to help us understand part of His function in our lives. I believe the John passage about them being one is illustrative as well. Why? Well, let’s look at the Scriptural evidence, beginning in Genesis.

“In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

The Hebrew word for God in this passage is Elohim. ‘El’ means ‘mighty, strong’.  It is often used in reference to any God, not just the God of Heaven. Things get interesting in the ‘him’ ending. ‘Him’ is plural. This seems to indicate more than one ‘mighty, strong’ being. Genesis says it directly just a few verses later.

“Let Us make man in Our image.” Genesis 1:26, emphasis added.

He doesn’t say, Let me make man, but us. There is more than one. If that is the case and they really are separate, they would relate to one another as separate individuals, rather than one being throughout the Scriptures.
We see that very clearly in the way Jesus the Christ prayed to and spoke of His Father in heaven. Even the fact that He prayed shows they are not one substance. If so, He would be having more of an internal dialogue, just as we do when trying to work out a problem. Instead, His was real prayer. Sometimes pleading as He did in the garden,

“And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me:” Matthew 26:39

Other times in intercession for those He loved.

“But I have prayed for thee [Peter], that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” Luke 22:32.

Ask yourself, why was He praying to begin with?  If they are one in substance and being there would be no need for Him to pray. He wasn’t doing it just to give an example to the rest of us, because He would most often go off alone to pray. He was praying because He needed to communicate with His Father.

The testimony of Jesus

   To me, however, the most important evidence comes from the words of the Savior Himself. What did He have to say about the relationship between He and His Father?

“My Father is greater than I” John 14:28

and

“I seek not Mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” John 5:30

There are many, many other passages I could write, but this post has to end sometime. I think these Scriptures clearly show they are distinct beings. However, we cannot ignore the John 10:30 passage where Jesus states they are one. What does He mean by that? Fortunately, the Scriptures have a great way of interpreting themselves. One of my favorite passages is of Jesus’s High Priestly Prayer in John 17. His time on earth was coming to a close. He was about to endure some of the most horrific agony anyone could experience. So He set Himself apart and prayed for us. Look carefully at verse 22.

“…that they may be one, even as we are one:” John 17:22, emphasis added.

It does not make sense that He would pray that we would become melded into one being. In this prayer He was praying for our unity. He wanted us to be one in purpose, just as He and His Father are one. Like-mindedness-- that is how they are one.

I wanted to write the many quotes of the ante-Nicene leaders, those who were closest to the time of Christ and the teachings of the original twelve apostles, such as Justin Martyr and Tertullian. However, I intentionally limited myself to the words of the Old and New Testament, because I realize those are the words that will hold validity with the evangelical community.

I hope this came across in the spirit intended. I know what a struggle it was for me to re-examine my belief system while I was studying Mormonism. All I ask is that you come at it with an open heart and mind. Maybe one day the Savior’s prayer will come to fruition and we will all be one as He and His Father are.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

When Heaven Seems Silent…

I know it has been a while since I have posted. The children and I went a little over a month passing back and forth illnesses. It seemed like I could stay well for about two days before I fell victim to another ailment. I finally realized I was doing it to myself by trying to keep my normal schedule the moment I recovered, which would just send me back to square one.  After realizing I have to rest to recover, I am better. My house is a wreck, but I am healthy.

I have a topic today that I think all of us have faced at one point in our lives, seeming silence from heaven. Thankfully, I do not currently have this occurring in my life right now, but it has in the past and I’m sure will again. The most difficult time for me when this occurred was when I was investigating Mormonism. All the missionaries (and believe me, I went through quite a few of them) would tell me if I would just pray with a sincere heart, the Spirit would show me the truth of all things. Never was there a more sincere prayer on the earth. I begged. I pleaded. I wanted to know the truth. Yet, silence, was the only answer I received. He wasn’t even telling me it wasn’t true.

I was sure He wasn’t answering because their must be something wrong with me. I put a spotlight on my soul to search out anything that could be of offense to Him. I confessed every thing I could think of. I asked Him to show me the sins I hadn’t thought of. Yet, still silence. In this case, the silence was my fault. You see, Heavenly Father knew I wasn’t ready for the answer. I wanted the answer, but wasn’t ready for it. I went to a church that taught that God would allow people to be deceived in order to be vessels of wrath. My biggest fear was that I would become one of those. Deceived into believing Mormonism, in order to be an object lesson of wrath. There was so much fear in my heart, there was  no room for faith to penetrate.

Before God could answer the question I wanted the answer for, He had to show me who He really was. I had to learn that God really cared about me. I had to learn that He wasn’t the kind of parent who would lie to one of His children in order to fulfill some bigger universal, predetermined plan. I had to have faith in His character. That must have taken three years, because that is how long I prayed about the Book of Mormon and the LDS faith before I received a clear answer.

Does this mean God was silent that whole time until I learned that all important lesson? Not at all. He was there working in the background, arranging things to happen just as they needed to, in order for me to learn.

He does that for all of us. I want you to know, and really believe, that God is working in your heart and life at all times. Sometimes He is directly interacting with you through His Spirit, giving you direct communication and revelation. Other times He is working from the shadows. The book of Esther is a great example of this. Did you know that it is the only book in the entire Bible where God is not mentioned one time? It’s true. However, throughout the whole book He is there working in the shadows. Not only arranging the affairs of men, but making sure justice is dealt out as needed.  Sometimes with a  great sense of Irony, like when the wicked Haman is hung on the very gallows he had built to destroy Mordecai. The more I study this book, the more I fall in love with my Father in Heaven all over again.  The next time you read the book of Esther, note how much had to be divinely arranged to save the Israelites.

Though, we may know intellectually He is there and hasn’t forgotten us, there will be times in our lives that He seems silent. Today, I want to write four things that are helpful to me when that occurs.

1. Remember and re-count the history of God in the affairs of man.

Do you ever wonder why so many stories are repeated over and over in the Scriptures? It is for our benefit. To help us have something to bring to mind when we need it. Don’t just go over the affairs of God in the lives of the people in Scripture. Review His affairs in your life. I hope you write down important events that God has done for you, so you have something to look back on when your faith needs a push. If not, start today. Stop reading my puny blog and write down everything you can think of that God has ever done for you.

God is involved in your life, and He has promised to stay that way. One of my favorite Scriptures is Philippians 1:6

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hat begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

He is there and He is working.

2. Never forget who you are.

You are a son or daughter of the God of the universe. You are Heavenly Father’s spirit child brought forth before the foundation of the world. One day, you will return to be with Him.

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is.” I John 3:2

3. Know that God is righteous in ALL His ways.

This is sometimes hard. The world is full of unrighteousness. Sometimes wicked things happen to righteous people. Does that mean God no longer loves us, or we are somehow not one of the children He pays much attention to? Absolutely not. Look at Matthew 7:11.

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

We love our children more than our own lives. Yet our love is evil when compared with His great love. Think on how much more goodness that means He wants for us.

I used to think I must not be one of God’s important children because my life has not been an easy one. I wasn’t protected as a child the way some children are. As an adult I have faced equally heart breaking events. Was there something wrong with me? Did I disappoint my Father in the pre-earth existence? Not at all.

Everything Heavenly Father allows into our lives is filtered through His fingers of love. He doesn’t allow anything to come our way that He won’t give us the grace to endure. Why does He allow the hardships though?  Have you ever seen a toddler fall and struggle to get back up? What would happen if that child never fell? He would never develop all the necessary muscles to function in life. Difficulties make us strong. They make us more useful.

Doctrine & Covenants 122 goes over this quite well. Heavenly Father listed out all the tribulations Joseph Smith was to endure and why. I’ve already written a post on this, so I won’t bore you by repeating it. If you haven’t read it, you can read it here.

Another great passage that discusses this is Romans 8:28-29

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”

Every thing God allows into our lives is there for a purpose. It is designed to make us more like His Son Jesus Christ. It is preparing us for eternity.

4. Finally, remember that our faith is tested in the silence of God.

There is a verse in Psalms that I spent quite some time praying about its meaning. Yet, when the Spirit showed it to me, it was so obvious I wondered why I even needed to pray about it to begin with.

“The Lord is in his holy temple, the Lord’s throne is in heaven: His eyes behold, His eyelids try, the children of men.” Psalm 11:4

I wanted to know what it meant that His eyelids try the children of men. I realized it meant that sometimes when it seems like God has his eyes shut to our dilemma, He is giving us an opportunity to grow our faith. We are tried by His closed eyes.  How can that grow our faith? It helps us rest in Him. To trust His character and His love. It' helps to show us if we follow the passage that says, “Be still and know that I am God.”  There is another passage in Doctrine & Covenants  that says, “Doubt not. Fear not.”  The seeming silence of Heaven shows if our heart is really ready to honor Him completely. Habakkuk puts it beautifully.

“Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places.” 3:17-19

Remember, that when the Heavens seem silent, they really only seem that way. Our Father is still on His throne. He, the Savior, and the Spirit are working as one in our lives. They are there. Trust in them.

For Such a Time as This….

     My children and I are currently going through the Book of Esther, using an in-depth inductive method. The Book of Esther is very special to me, because of the role it played in my investigation of Mormonism. It actually had nothing to do with me understanding LDS theology. Instead, it was special because is was a balm to my soul while I was feeling such torment, confusion, and loneliness. I drew strength from that young woman’s courage. I loved Esther’s heart, and her willingness to sacrifice herself for the Lord’s purposes.

     Now I’m getting to go through it again, but without the confusion my life held the last time. We’ll spend a week on the first two chapters. I’d say I’m about midway through that, and already I’m being reminded of why the book held such devotion in my heart those few years ago. Her loving submission to her Heavenly Father brings me comfort, strength, and courage.

     There is a point, later in the book, when Mordecai says to Esther, “…and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:15

     Her people were about to be destroyed, and her Uncle Mordecai, who raised her, was asking her to risk her life and appeal to the king. She related her fear, and the above passage was part of his response.

Here is what my heart is saying now:

     I once had a blessing that said, “You were held in reserve to come forth in the last dispensation…” I imagine many of you have had similar blessings given to you. We have been chosen “for such a time as this”. It is important we are well prepared. How much more prepared we will be if we dig into our Scriptures? Not with a heart that just wants to know more, but with a heart that wants to know HIM and what He wants us to do.

     I had one of the young single adults over for dinner last night. We spent some time talking about our faith and how to keep a testimony. I told her, the one thing that holds me fast, is not the fruit, good or bad, of those around me. I won’t be swayed by the disgusting or beautiful acts of others. Instead, it is the deepness and closeness I feel with my Heavenly Father and my dear, dear Savior, Jesus Christ that draws me and keeps me right where I am.

     Though I was faithful and devoted in my former church, and got to participate in many wonderful ministries, it doesn’t compare to the real relationship I feel with my Father now. I cherish knowing Him, and being in constant communication with Him.

     That being said, we are not here to merely lap in the luxury of the restored gospel. He has called us here at this time for a special purpose. Ask Him what it is. Pour yourself into your Scriptures to know Him better. But, do it with a heart willing to honor anything He asks, even if it is difficult. There are times I have done that beautifully, with grace. There are other times that, like a stubborn child hanging on to a favorite toy, I have said, “No, You can’t have this.” I’m always happier when submissive to the will of my Father, even when what He asks is painful and difficult.

     There is beauty, peacefulness, and confidence in knowing you’re doing exactly His will. As I read Esther 2 this morning, I fell in love with her gentle and quiet spirit all over again. I asked myself, knowing the rest of the book, if I will have the courage to do everything my Heavenly Father is asking of me. I think I can do nothing else, for nothing else will bring me the joy of communion with Him. I love my Heavenly Father, and want to make Him as proud of me as He must have been with Esther.

     Are we all willing to submit to everything His word and will asks, with the grace of Esther? Even if it is uncomfortable, or goes against new societal norms? When we read our Scriptures, do we respond like Nephi “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded…” I want to. He has a grand purpose we may not see until eternity. We were called to this portion of the plan. Let’s do it with the grace of Esther.

Why Do I Serve God?

Have you ever felt despair? I’m not talking about depression or sadness, but real despair. The kind that makes you seriously consider if life is worth continuing.  I can only think of three times in my life I have felt real despair. Once was as a very young teenager. I went to an authority figure pleading for help and protection from physical danger, but no help came. The other two times were as an adult. As a  young person I kept going because I was an optimist. I used to be the kind of person who was genuinely surprised that publishers clearinghouse didn’t show up to award me a million dollars, even though I hadn’t even entered. So, plugging along with the hope that things would change was natural to me. I was sure given a few years my life circumstances would change and things would get easier. After all, I could move away for college. As an adult all I had to do was think of my children. That is reason enough to keep going.  However, none of those reasons stop the feelings of despair. Though someone can have a reason to keep going, they need an even better reason to keep going with quality.  Do you just survive or do you live? How do you keep going when  you can’t muster up hope?

There was once an Old Testament Prophet, who was feeling some despair himself. Well…there were several of them actually…but I’m only going to talk about one: Habakkuk. 

Habakkuk lived in Israel during a time of great unrighteousness. Everywhere he turned he saw corruption and immorality. As a matter of fact, the first line of  his book is, “The burden which Habakkuk the prophet did see.” Often that is what despair feels like, a huge burden that weighs you down and aches even down to your joints and sinews.  Listen to some of the pain in his voice,

“O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear!

even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save!

Why does thou shew me iniquity and cause me to behold grievance?

……the wicked doth compass about the righteous.”

Have you ever felt that way? I have, and currently still do. Joseph Smith did too. In liberty jail he cried out, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth Thy hiding place?” It is very hard to feel alone. It is worse to wonder if even God, the one being who can be trusted, has abandoned you too. That would say horrible things about your worth if even the almighty, all loving God no longer cared about you.

The Lord heard Habakkuk’s plea and answered him. But, as God so often does He answered in a way Habakkuk never would have imagined in even his worst nightmare.

God replied, “I will work a work in your days,

which ye will not believe, though it be told you.

For, lo, I raise up the Chaldeans, that bitter and hasty nation,

which shall march through the breadth of the land,

to possess the dwelling places that are not theirs.”

Heavenly Father told Habakkuk He is not as unaware and uninvolved as He was being accused. Already He had the Chaldeans ready to swoop in for judgment. Now think about that. The Chaldeans (we know them as the Babylonians) were a horrible nation. Their king, Neduchadnezzar, had no regard for human life. Even God described them as “terrible and dreadful” (vs. 7). I’ve taught the book of Daniel a few times and the background information I’ve learned about the despicable Nebuchadnezzar is enough to make you sick. You can imagine how Habakkuk felt about that news. Really, Heavenly Father, Nebuchadnezzar? That is who you’ve chosen for the judgment of the unrighteous? He’s worse than the whole lot in Israel. That hardly seems fair. God, you must realize that he will not distinguish between the righteous and unrighteous. The entire nation will be destroyed.

He expressed his concern to God, and I’ll be honest with you I love the way Habakkuk thinks.

“Art Thou not from everlasting, O Lord my God, mine Holy One? we shall not die.

O Lord, thou hast ordained them for judgment; and , O Mighty god,

Thou hast established them for correction.

Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity;

wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, and beholdest

Thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than he?

…..I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower,

and will watch to see what He will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved.”

To sum it up, he said, how can you, a Holy, pure God use horribly wicked people, to judge less wicked people? It seems evil to turn your people over to the Babylonians, even though they’ve sinned. Yet, Habakkuk knew that a holy god must have a holy reason. That is why his last sentence said, I will sit back and listen to how you reprove me.

God gently admonishes Habakkuk throughout chapter 2, telling him to have patience. He reminds Habakkuk that the just shall live by faith. Habakkuk must trust God. He must believe that God is righteous and doeth everything in righteousness. God also told him of the dreadfulness of sin.  The final chapter of Habakkuk is his prayer. He asked God that in His wrath would He also remember mercy. Then He rehearses the acts and character of God, and comes to a conclusion as to how he, Habakkuk, will live the rest of his life.  His conclusion, which I’ll explain in a moment, is the best answer for all of us, who like the prophets of old, occasionally must live in the midst of despair.

Many of you have read my conversion story. You remember it cost me greatly to become a Mormon. What you don’t know is that  my second year as a Mormon caused me almost equally great pain and turmoil. Not because of Mormonism, but because of the unrighteous actions of someone I trusted & loved greatly. It has been a difficult year. Then last week some new trials popped into my life. One was fiscal. I’m losing $500.00 per month in income and realized that someone else I thought was trustworthy, had in all likelihood been using me taking advantage of me for the last few months. Now I would need to find another job in order to properly care for my family. For someone who already works four part time jobs that idea is distressing.

I had just gotten home from work the evening I learned this. I’d been home about 5 minutes when a process server showed up at my door. My ex-husband is suing me. It will cost me more to defend myself than it would if I just gave him everything he wanted, but if I don’t stand up to him, he’ll just keep pulling this kind of garbage. (OK, vent over). I broke down completely after reading the papers I was served. Sounds dumb, I know. After all I’ve been through the last 5 years you’d think I could take something like this in stride, but I couldn’t. It was like the final straw on a very weary and weak back.

Pouring out my heart to God I asked what more He wanted of me. Why did it seem like the more I strove to honor and obey Him, the harder life became? Was it worth it to keep doing my best to honor a God who didn’t seem to care one whit about my and my children’s lives. Every day is a struggle and the more I strive to become righteous, the harder life gets. Sometimes it seemed that the more righteous I tried to behave, the more the wicked got away with things and I was seemingly punished. I didn’t think I could keep going. I’d live of course, for the sake of my children, but wasn’t sure how I would strive any longer.

At that very moment a gentle voice whispered into my ear. Why do you serve God, Annmarie? Are you doing it for rewards? Are you doing it for glory? Are you doing it for ease? If so, that isn’t really working out for you, is it?

I thought about that for most of that night. I couldn’t sleep because of all the stress I felt anyway. Throughout the evening the story of Habakkuk came to my mind. I haven’t read that book in a few years, but the story was as fresh and alive as if I’d read it that morning. I came to some conclusions. I serve God because I love Him. I serve Him because I wouldn’t feel right or natural doing anything else. I’m His child and have been since before the world was created. I will not be okay doing anything other than filling the measure of my creation.  I do not serve Him for rewards or glory.  God was right. The just live by faith. I had to make a decision-again- to live that way as well.

Do I believe God is righteous? Do I believe God will do things with my best interest at heart? Can I trust Him? Does He deserve my love? The answer to all these questions is yes. Therefore I can do nothing other than come to the same conclusion as Habakkuk.

“Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines;

the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat;

the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet,

and He will make me to walk upon mine high places.”

I serve God because it is the right thing to do. I will, even in my despair, look to Him to give me strength. He will make my feet steady. He will give me the endurance. I will trust Him to be an anchor to my soul, that I can fulfill with my life, as it says in Ether 12:4.

“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety of hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.”

For that is the reason I serve Him. I hope to glorify God. With prayer and grace, I can do that while living in poverty or wealth, while being loved or used and mistreated. The circumstances of my life do not make my goal any harder or easier, therefore I will strive not to lose site. I serve God because I love Him. I want to bring Him glory.

If that is true, than I shouldn’t waver just because life is a struggle. I should dip my head out of the feelings of despair that overwhelm and seek to drown me. I will look to my Heavenly Father in reverence, trust, and faith.

Holiness and Happiness

I’ve said this many times, but I am re-learning God. It’s like moving to a different country with vastly different cultural norms and understandings. How God views me is one of those areas that I am re-learning. There was a saying at the church of my former faith, “God cares more about your holiness than your happiness.” That does not mean they believe God to be an evil dictator, on the contrary they see the fact that we are sinners and the unmerited blessing of God choosing ANY of us for salvation as evidence of His great mercy. I agree that He is a merciful God, but I always had a hard time thinking that He cared about my happiness as a result of some of the teachings. Any failure left me feeling as if I deserved the worst of punishment, after all my holiness is more important than my happiness. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I would still have occasions of failure.

One of the things I found confusing as a new member was the fact that God could be interested in my life outside of obedience to Him. After all the Scriptures speak often of God being the one who deserves all the glory. Why should I have a right to think I deserved anything. Then I was taught a scripture that began a journey for me I am still continuing. Now when I tell you this Scripture, you’ll think me a simpleton. Most of you dear Latter-Day Saints have known this Scripture since childhood and its teaching is as natural to you as breathing. But to me….it was the most foreign concept I had ever come across. Moses 1:39 “For behold, this is my work and my glory — to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” I remember thinking could that really be God’s glory? No. We’re supposed to glorify Him. Heaven is all about Him. I had a theocentric view of eternity. It astounded me the thought that my immortality could be God’s glory.  Why would God care about me? My occupation should be glorifying Him, not His glory about helping me.

Yet, as I thought about it more…and yes it took a while….it began to make sense. I’m a mother. I LOVE being a mother. My children mean more to me than life itself. How do I spend my days? I spend all my moments  raising and providing for them. All my energy goes to helping them learn and grow and become the future leaders of our world. My work and glory is often bringing to pass their future. Why wouldn’t God’s be bringing to pass ours? After all, He is my Parent. That opened up an entirely new world to me and it made trusting Him so much easier. Let me try to explain it another way. We once had a dear woman, Sharon Jones, speak in Relief Society who said that in her pre-existence she must have asked Heavenly Father to take very good care of her on the earth because she had an earthly father who was one of the godliest men she knew, and a husband who rivaled him in godliness and treats her like a princess. She spoke about how well loved and cared for she has been her entire life. I never got to meet her father, but everything I’ve heard about him confirms her words. Her husband is my home teacher and I can testify of his godly character and compassion. He is very kind to my family. I’ve also seen the way he treats her, and yes she gets to be a princess. I love watching them.

At the time, her comment made me feel like a complete schlep. My first thought was…Why didn’t I think of that? Was I like the pre-existent idiot who never thought to ask to be cared for? Maybe I was like the stubborn child who, even though the task is way above their abilities, keeps yelling “I can do it myself”. After that though I began to wonder if their might have been something wrong with me. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be cared for the way she did. Could it be that I had done something wrong in the pre-existence? I asked someone, who then often served as my counselor, about that. He said that if he were to speculate it would more likely be that I told Heavenly Father I wanted the advanced course on this earth. That does sound a little like me. If I were given a choice between two chemistry classes with descriptions as follows: Chem A: Here you will learn chemistry or Chem B: Here you will REALLY learn chemistry. It’s four times the amount of work, but at the end of the course you’ll be an expert. I would be the enthusiastic puppy to sign up for the Chem B class. Yes…I’m that stupid.

However, while there could be some truth in all of those explanations, I think it is probably closer to Moses 1:39. God is about bringing to pass our immortality and eternal life. He knows us. He knows what will best instruct us. Therefore He intentionally brings things into our lives that will help us learn the best. He gives each of us special struggles and weaknesses that teach us to depend on Him AND be independent simultaneously. Now I can know that each thing sifted through His hand is truly for my good. Maybe I wouldn’t learn as well if my life were like Sharon’s (though between you and me I’m willing to give it a whirl). Heavenly Father knows Sharon too. He knows how she learns best. Those are the things that will bring about her immortality and eternal life.

I now have a better understanding that God can and does love me, but not only that, He is interested in more than my submission. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to have a good future. Sometimes, when I saw my weaknesses and failures, I worried that maybe He loves me because He is my Father, but that I’m a real disappointment to Him. Though, when I was really worried about that a few weeks ago, He was merciful enough to give me words of encouragement through a blessing. While my home teacher, President Jones, was uttering the words that said my Heavenly Father wanted me to know that He was very proud of me, he could not have known the impact and gratefulness I felt for them. A flood of relief came throughout my soul. You see, even though I don’t always know and understand God correctly yet, I still love Him with all my heart. I want to please Him.

But the constant worrying about each and every failure made it hard for me to see that God could be the least bit interested in my happiness when I lacked so much holiness. Each time things were difficult in my life (and they often are), I was sure it was because I deserved it. How could God bless a person who has as many unkind thoughts as I do? Or who sometimes gets jealous of other women who are loved and cared for? Now I realize the difficulties aren’t because I lack holiness, they’re to help me develop it. It has completely changed the way I forge through trials. Though the end result of both mindsets was to be more holy, I realize now that the trial is the source of holiness, not the cattle prod to keep me straight. I can look at the trial and think eternally. What in this trial can I learn that will make me more like my Savior? What is in this that is designed to bring me closer to immortality and eternal life.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I feel like this is one big ramble where I ‘m trying to order my new thoughts correctly, but cannot. I guess I’m trying to say Heavenly Father is interested in both our holiness AND our happiness. He is busying Himself and bringing Himself glory by bringing us to eternity. If we remember that, we can look at every trial as another stair step to the celestial kingdom brought to us directly by our Father who truly loves us and knows best how we learn.

A Potpourri of Hope

To be honest, I don’t even know where to start. I have learned so much over the last few days that I feel like I’m trying to contain a waterfall with a child’s sand bucket. I cannot pick one theme that has stood out to me, so I hope you’ll put up with a potpourri of my thoughts.

Pre-earth existence

I’ll start with something that may seem trivial, but I love. It is always fun to me when I see something in Scripture that shows the restored doctrine has always been in the Bible if you have eyes to see it. When you’ve been blind for so long and suddenly get sight, even the most average of objects can seem spectacular. So, for those of you who’ve known these things your whole lives, please bear with my “playing catch up”.

One of the hardest doctrines to understand scripturally is our pre-earth existence. While it feels right and makes sense, the recovering Calvinist in me prefers Scripture. I was reading in John 9 the other day. In verse two, the disciples ask the Savior,

“Master, who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Did you catch that? If he were BORN blind, how could he have possibly sinned? The only possible explanation is he existed before he was born. If that were not possible, the Savior would have pointed that out to HIs followers. Maybe He would have said something like, “How could he have sinned having not yet been born?”  Instead He answered,

“Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”

I know it is a silly thing to get excited over, but to me it showed that the disciples understood there was an existence before birth.

Faith

Skipping a few days in my Scripture journal brings us to the topic of faith. I have really been convicted about this topic for some time. Every once in a while I think I see some progress, but then the Lord allows something to creep in that shows me I have so far to go still.

I was reading in 1 Nephi 7.

“….the Lord is able to do all things according to His will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in Him………” vs. 12

Then later in verse 17 it says,

“….O Lord, according to my faith which is in Thee, wilt Thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren;….”

To be honest, every time I read my Scriptures the verses on faith just jump out at me. I know that Heaven works according to laws that are irrevocably set. Faith is one of the big ones. There is much our Father in heaven wants to do for us, but much of it depends on our faith.

This makes me nervous sometimes, because I know I fall so short of the mark. Whenever I read passages on faith I have such a deep, deep longing to do better, to be more than I am. When I read the passage in verse 17 that said “according to my faith..”  I wrote in my journal, “What if the Lord only did anything according to my faith? How much would then be accomplished for His kingdom?”

How painful that is for me to consider knowing my failings. I think about the father of Alma the Younger, whose faith brought an angel to call his son to repentance. Wow! What incredible faith. Though I rejoice in his faith, I’m saddened by my lack of it.  When will I get there?

Of course whenever I pray about my lack of faith and ask for the Lord to help me grow in and develop more faith, He reminds me of Alma 32. So, I guess that is the course He has outlined for me. Hopefully as I diligently follow it I will one day have the faith that can help others more readily find His kingdom.

Unrighteousness

This next lesson was not in Scripture, but through life and the Spirit. I’ve been struggling with the behavior of a man who has done several unrighteous deeds. It has caused me anguish, almost destroyed my testimony, and brought harm to my family.

I have spent countless hours in tears and prayer over it. I have confronted the man several times asking him to stop the behavior, only to have ridiculous excuses made. When I pressed him, he would accuse me of lacking charity for not accepting him as he is.

Every confrontation damaged both my soul and emotions further. It kind of came to a head this past Friday. I had lost all hope of trusting  him (or anyone) again, but thought it only fair to try again. That was a mistake and served in no way other than to make my day completely miserable and give me another few hours of tears and heartbreak.

The thought suddenly popped into my head, while praying, that this is exactly what Satan wants. I don’t think I could have hand picked a scenario more perfectly designed to destroy me. I had two choices. I could continue to struggle and try to make sense of his behavior, fruitlessly hoping for righteousness, or I could recognize that Satan was using this person to not only bring me harm, but stunt my growth, and not allow it any further.

It reminds me a little of the story of the tree of life (1 Nephi 8). The analogy doesn’t fit completely, but you’ll get the idea. Here are these people who’ve just had an opportunity to taste the fruit from the Tree of Life, but because scoffers came along they fell away and were lost.

I have tasted of the gospel. I have a testimony. I know what is true. Am I therefore to let go of the iron rod and give up the fruit of the gospel because of someone else’s indifference to righteousness? How stupid would I have to be?  Umm…don’t answer that.

Well, I wish I had more time. There is so much more I’ve learned, but I’ve got to exercise and get some wonderful children to bed. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for His constant patience with me. I hope one day I will be the kind of person that brings Him much glory. Maybe I’ll even develop the faith of Alma, or Enoch, or ….

Oh! to be all that God wants! What could be better?

 

Taking Care of Souls-The mission of Motherhood

 

By Annmarie Worthington

Some of my precious souls having fun.

When a bishop in the novel Les Miserables was warned that by traveling to visit an isolated part of his flock he would be taking his life in his hands, he had the most delightful response. “I’m not in this world to take care of my life. I’m here to take care of souls.” I think this should be the battle call of every mother. We have been given a beautiful responsibility and privilege that goes far beyond anything the world calls important. If we could but catch a small glimpse of the vast importance of our job as mothers I really believe it would change the way we go about our lives.

Think about Heavenly Father taking one of His precious spirit children. He’s about to send them away into a world where they will forget most of what they knew in their pre-mortal existence. A world fraught with danger and temptation. A world where Lucifer, who hates both Him and His children, will try to destroy them and keep them from returning home. He has to place them in the care of someone. He chose you.

What an awesome responsibility! Many of you will remember the immense love that welled up inside you at the first glimpse of your child. You would take on the world for that precious child. Unfortunately, there are occasions in the midst of our everyday existence we forget what our role is. We get frustrated when they don’t care about our guidance and instruction. We get hurt when they ignore us, or argue. We get tired with our daily, monotonous responsibilities. Sometimes, we just get distracted. Something else catches our attention and tries to draw our heart away. Maybe it is the prestige of a promising, respected career. Maybe it is the thought of a beautifully decorated home. Or maybe we’re just exhausted from our many responsibilities. Whatever it is, and it is different for all of us, I really believe the thoughts and distractions are cunningly placed there by the enemy of our souls.

There is much expected of mothers, even without the burden of our Heavenly responsibility. We are expected to know how to nurse a wound and comfort a child simultaneously. We need to brush up on our fractions and algebra to help with math assignments, and know how to sew a costume for a play or recital. We have to be a negotiator between warring children, and a psychologist for our children in need of counsel. We need to help with music practice, teach them to ride bicycles, and decide with wisdom which of the four million extra-curricular activities available to them fits their needs and gifting. We’re to do all that while cheerfully keeping up with laundry, meals, housekeeping, and loving our spouses, if we are fortunate enough to have one. I haven’t even gotten to the spiritual responsibilities.

No wonder it is easy to get distracted. We don’t even have to be doing anything wrong to be led away from our real mission. It is hard remembering we are here to do more than raise productive citizens. We are here to take care of souls. Our children, like us, are eternal beings. If valiant, they will one day rule worlds of their own. Let’s do more than care about if they get a 4.0 grade point average, or a 30 on the ACT. Let’s train them to be valiant in their testimony of Christ. Let’s raise them to care about eternal matters.

Some ways to nurture souls

What a daunting task! How do we go about it? Well, I am navigating these responsibilities just like the rest of you, but some thoughts keep coming to my mind regarding the topic. First, we have to strive to be valiant ourselves. It will be much easier for our children to desire righteousness if they see it in us. Do they see us read our scriptures? Do they see us in personal prayer? Do they hear us talk about the commandments and how we are striving to fulfill them? It is impossible for us to be perfect, and believe me my children know I am not. But, when we do sin, we can be honest about it and show them what real repentance looks like.

When you are striving to be valiant, conversation about their lives and the gospel will be natural. It will just be who you are. They’ll expect that to be what comes out of your mouth. Deuteronomy teaches this. “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deut. 6:7

I do know that when you have a passel of both children and responsibilities to deal with that just to carve out time to read your scriptures takes real commitment. And we’ll never be valiant without a commitment to reading our Scriptures. I’m right there with you in that struggle. I used to think it was a choice between my children seeing me read my Scriptures and really getting to read them without interruption, so I could have a complete thought. I came up with a solution that works for my life. The Spirit will tell you what will work for you.

I always keep a Scripture journal. In it I write down the chapters I read that day and any thoughts I had about my reading. I have some days I read while the children are awake and they see me reading and writing in my journal. Other days I’ve reserved for private reading that I am free to do before they are awake. But on those days, I will talk to my children throughout the day about what I’ve read and written in my journal. This way they know it is important enough for me to do it every day.

Secondly, we need to really know our children. What are the special gifts Heavenly Father has endowed unto them? How does He want them to use them? What are their personalities? Are they fearful and reserved, or bold and head-strong? Each spirit is different and learns differently. Each child has their own goals, dreams, and fears. Each of them has a task they were sent here to do. Our job is to help them both realize what that is and help them qualify. There is no short cut to such a proposition. What it takes the most of is time. Time spent talking to them, and especially listening to them.

They need to know we value their thoughts. When my oldest was young, he was completely into Bionicles. He would spend hours talking about them, what their powers were, what battles he set up in his room. He’d even quiz me on their powers. It didn’t bother him that I’d fail the quiz. He was just happy I would take it. If we don’t listen to them when they’re young and willing, they’ll quickly learn to not talk to us. When they know you’re truly interested, they’ll keep talking, even in their teen years.

Our time should also be spent researching their strengths and gifts. Time invested in helping them develop their talents. We have no idea what callings Heavenly Father has in mind for them. But, we can get glimpses of their path with the talents He’s given to them. The more they learn and develop their gifts, the more useful they can be to His kingdom.

Thirdly, we need to diligently seek to fulfill the brethren’s guidance for families. That means family prayer, daily Scripture study, family home evenings, parent-child interviews… everything the apostles have reiterated for us over and over in their conference talks. I’m not saying it is easy. These things won’t always be fulfilled in an ideal setting. I’m a single mom. I work four part time jobs and homeschool my children. Time is a precious commodity at our house. I don’t always get the freedom to determine how much time I have. I do, however, have the freedom to decide how to use the time that is allotted to me.

Family Home Evenings are hard for me. To set aside that much time on Monday evenings in a lesson and fun activity means staying up much later that night working one of my jobs. It means I will not get much sleep. But, I get do get to nurture souls. How lucky is that? Isn’t that worth a few hours less sleep? I think the key to that is the thought the bishop of Les Miserables had. Let us not be selfish with our time, our life, and desires. Let’s try to remember that we are not just here for ourselves, but to take care of souls. How great is the worth of a soul in the eyes of God.

Dual Post: True Love and A Look at Sin

At my daughter’s violin teacher’s home there is a portrait of Mary, the mother of Jesus, at the crucifixion. You don’t see the crosses, only the pained face of His mother, watching her son being tortured. Looking into her eyes you see the fulfillment of Simeon’s prophecy that a sword will pierce her very soul. I’ve often wished to obtain a copy of that picture as a reminder to me of the Sacrifice given on my behalf.

No matter what kind of life you lead. If you are single, married and unloved, or even have never been loved by even your parents, you can know that there is one person that when He says He loves you, He means it. Think about all He sacrificed, willingly on our behalf. Picture his great drops of blood when he took on Himself our sin and infirmities.

Even today, when we continue to sin, he pleads on our behalf. I love this passage in Doctrine & Covenants:

“Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before Him----

Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of Him who did no sin, in whom Thou wast well pleased:  behold the blood of Thy Son which was shed, the blood of Him whom Thou gavest that Thyself might be glorified;

Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on My name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.”

That is true love. Love which willingly gives His all. Such love deserves true devotion in return. Such love has the right to ask us to do anything, no matter how difficult. There are times when I am frustrated with life and I have to remind myself of the Savior’s love and remember that He isn’t asking me to do anything that doesn’t pain Himself equally.

I had told a friend from church in frustration the other day, “You know, my life wasn’t easy before I joined the church, but it has been much harder since.” I don’t blame the church of course. I knew the life I was signing up for when I made my decision. It doesn’t however make it any easier.

Therefore, when I am struggling or having a wretched, exhausting day, I remind myself of my beautiful Savior. He’s not asking me to do anything needlessly. He loves me. I love Him too, therefore I should willingly, even gratefully do whatever He requires.

I said this was a dual post because I’ve been having two disparate thoughts this week and I couldn’t think of a good segue…so I’m cheating.

I’m re-reading one of my favorite novels Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. My son’s about to read it for school, so I needed to do a touch up on it. There is a passage in the beginning that is describing a godly bishop. It says,

“He was never quick to condemn and he always took into account the surrounding circumstances. He would say, ‘Let’s see how this sin came to pass.’”

I think there are two applications to  this. The first is the one intended. Few people wake up and go, “I think I shall sin today.” There are generally circumstances that creep in and gradually, sometimes before they know it, they are sinning. Sometimes emotions and history factor into the situation. The point is, we can’t really know what someone is going through, or what led them into the sin they’re committing. Because of that, we shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Let’s try to understand and love the person. Then we can help them with their sin.

There is a second application to this as well. A personal one. When we sin, we need to say to ourselves, “Let’s see how this sin came about”. Sin is inevitable. We are fallen people. If you’re like me, you want desperately not to, but know you will fail. I fail all the time. My heart breaks when I do. Sometimes though, I can learn from my failures. I can say to myself, “How did this come about?” Maybe I can see a pattern that I can avoid. A way to keep myself from falling into the same trap. It is a good habit to get into.

Hopefully in the future I can give myself more wisely to the one who truly loves me.

 

Helping Evangelicals with Continuing Revelation

*In beginning work on a manuscript I thought it best to jot down my ideas here and we could flesh them out together. I’m especially interested in interactions you’ve had with protestants in discussing continuing revelation. What questions have you found hard to answer? Here are my thoughts…..

If you’ve ever tried to share the gospel with a conservative evangelical, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “There is no new revelation.” or something similar. While it may be hard for Latter-Day Saints to grasp at times, the Bible being the sole and final authority lies deep in the heart of many sincere Christians who love their God and serve His Son diligently. I was one of them, so I know. Sola Scriptura was one of the cornerstones of our faith beginning with the protestant reformation.

When I first began looking into Mormonism in order to “save a friend from hell” I thought it would be simple to show him the error of his ways. All I had to do was prove in Scripture the canon was closed and that would settle it. If the canon had already closed, there is no way the Book of Mormon could be true. He would see that Joseph Smith was a false prophet. That would be the first step toward redemption.

I started by looking for the passage that taught the canon was closed. I couldn’t find it anywhere. My next idea came in the form of calling one of my pastors and explaining my dilemma. I asked him to help me understand why we believe the canon is closed, so I could rescue my friend. First, he warned me to be careful because my friend was probably having a similar conversation about converting me with the leadership of his church. I told him I’d be offended if he weren’t. He continued by telling me that there was not anything in Scripture that definitively showed the canon was closed. I found that surprising. Why then is it preached so decisively from the pulpit? The answer he gave me was church tradition.

Personally, as a conservative evangelical myself, I didn’t find that answer convincing. The whole protestant reformation fought against church tradition as an authority. That was not what I was trained to put my faith in. I had always been taught to consider the Scriptures as the final authority. Finding his answer unsatisfying I decided to turn again to the Scriptures for my answers. In reality, that is how you will best help evangelicals to understand our faith as well. Scriptures alone will not convince them. That takes the Spirit. But in their mind, they’ll need the Scriptures. They’ll be more likely to hear the Spirit where there is no fear. They have no fear of the Bible.

An oft quoted passage in evangelical circles is found in Revelation that warns not to add or take away from this book. Many unpleasant experiences are promised to the offender. That passage never bothered me. Though many Christians take the phrase “this book” to mean the Bible, I realized that passage is only referring to the book of Revelation itself. To help someone else understand that, you could point out that Deuteronomy 4:2 has a similar injunction, but the church did not stop the canon after the Pentateuch. Neither did the Savior because he quoted from several post Pentateuch passages as authoritative.

Another item to point out in the same arena is that Revelation was NOT the last book of the Bible to be penned. Several were written after Revelation including James, Jude, and 2 Peter. But, that is not the only reason to believe in continuing revelation. There is a Scripture chain you can give them to read, ponder, and pray about. First Hebrews 13:8 tells us that “He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” If that is so, He is willing to work with His children consistently.

The second link of the chain can be found in Amos 3:7 “Surely the Lord God doeth nothing until He reveals His secret unto His servants the prophets.” There are some people who will say that this particular verse was in the Old Covenant and that we are living in the New Covenant, therefore it is invalid. It is true that we are under a new covenant, but it is the same God. They may counter that God is the same, but His methods are not. In that case you could give them 1 Thessalonians 5:19-21 "Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things: hold fast that which is good." This is a New Covenant passage. Without further scripture to negate it, it still stands. This command also helped alleviate some of the guilt I felt in examining other beliefs to begin with. I could do it, because the Lord said I could.

In combination, these verses pricked my heart. They helped me realize there was at least the possibility of new revelation. Whether that came in the form of Mormonism or not, well…let’s just say the jury was still out on that one. Prayerfully, as you testify of the gospel with your protestant friends their hearts will be pricked as well. I know I’m grateful to learn all that is available to me through the restoration.